Let go of fear and fly free…

Since returning from Lanzarote, after my magical week with my sister Rosy, I have not found a blogging moment…

My days have been spent engaged with Kathy and Haze on their retreats here in Spain, and my other clients on Skype too…

But today my day is stretching ahead with no sessions until 5 pm. Anadi is programming away indoors – he can’t see his screen outside… And I am sitting in the square in the sun.

Total bliss.

Years ago I went to Spain for a month alone, an almost silent retreat, in part due then to my extremely limited Spanish…!

I remember sitting outside in the sun, drinking a cup of café con leche one day, and experiencing a feeling of total happiness, pure joy… I wrote about it in a postcard to my friend Wendy which she still has. In it I said to her that I was living my dream life, running and writing in the sun.

Fourteen years years later and I am almost fully live that life, as a permanent way of life.

Sometimes it takes time to clear away anything that is in the way of us fully treading the path our inner voice leads us to, maybe obligation or fear or outdated beliefs about what we should or shouldn’t do, can get in the way…When in truth all we must do is keep trusting our inner guidance, clearing away any single feeling of tension, or grief, or sadness or frustration or fear…

Ahhh fear…

At the very core of most humans is fear, this is not surprising given we live in a body which needs to survive… But within this fear often there has come about a forgetting of our true nature.

As well as forgetting that we are all one, that we are all born of consciousness /god/love… When we remember this, it becomes far easier to let go, to trust, and to always release anything that arises from within in the way of judgement, blame, reactivity drowning out our inner silence.

For when we clear away the stress within, we will find that from the silence the path opens and reveals itself.

Today Anadi and I ran along the coastline with the sun rising, a shining ball of glorious light above the sea.We reached a beach at the end of the road, ran down to the rocks, scrambled over them to another beach. We ran along the edge of the surf and then picked our way up a rocky path…

Running in my bare feet has brought me more deeply in touch with myself at a translucent soul level, as well as grounding me on planet earth. I have a closer relationship with my feet and my body, and I notice that as my feet are strengthening, my running action of the young me is returning

I feel like I am flying on land, more free, more me…

The path reveals itself… The planning paradox.

We are currently half way between Lanzarote and Gatwick, five miles high. When we arrive Rosy will head back to Dorset, and I will stay one night at Gatwick, before flying to the peninsula of Spain tomorrow morning.

Rosy and I have had a wonderful week together, each evening we made a plan for the following day which we wrote down and then actioned the following day.
Our days flowed perfectly this way…
It reminded me of when I was young and I planned every day in the summer holidays…

Our regime this past week created very busy days (this is rather an oxymoron in our case) as the busyness was a week full of yoga, pilates, stretch and relax and spa ing!

We did make some trips to the gym too, and each day we journeyed to Famara beach. I love to run along the sand and in the surf. Rosy joined me for one of the days; we ran together to the end and back.

Famara has a magical vibration, energising and free. There are many windsurfers and kite surfers who enjoy the big waves, as well as this beach being a place where nakedness is embraced.
I watched a couple with not a stitch on, race down the beach and straight into the sea.
It was a beautiful sight to witness. Human beings, being in nature.

For Rosy and me it was our first holiday together alone, since 1976 and for me the first holiday for four years since Anadi and I made our decisions on a holiday in Santorini, in 2013 to become nomads….

Our lifestyle has resembled two people on holiday, of course!
But we have been working as we travel.

And now my possessions weigh only 10 kilos. And I don’t own any shoes. My feeling is that these things have occurred because of changes within me, as they have almost happened of themselves.
Although of course they took planning and processes…
But the impetus for the changes came from somewhere inside me.

And this is how it is, all we must do is keep looking within.

Everything comes from within as we are aware, but it is often tempting to look outside.
Even plans, like Rosy’s and my daily plan must come from within.
It could be described as the ‘planning paradox’… To experience the illusion of life on planet earth, we live things out, we plan and organise and prepare….
But if we relax, let go of tension and listen with our inner ear, then the path reveals itself….

When Rosy and I arrived we didn’t have any idea that we would embrace the yoga and pilates classes, even booking private pilates tuition… But the plan emerged and has undoubtedly been transformational on many levels.

And so my decision to shed my shoes completely, to let go of more possessions and in May to take a sabbatical from my work has emerged from an inner process of clearing.

I intended to take a sabbatical when Anadi and I married three years ago, but it didn’t happen. In fact my work simply grew more and more instead….
So that was the inner plan then, it wasn’t the sabbatical’s time after all…! this time, my sense is the sabbatical is ready, it is emerging from within me… Time for more space for my inner journeying, as I run, write, travel…

And vlog of course!

There is no past and no future… There is only now, and therefore we can re write our imagined past and create our imagined future. We can do this by going within now, to the place of silence where there is nothing blocking us from our true expression…

Sunshine within

Yesterday morning I woke and ran through a rainy grey day to the beach. My last day in Eastbourne and I had a yen to run barefoot on the beach…

I arrived here the Saturday before last and began to write then…

This is a record at the beginning and end of a wonderful week and a bit…

Sunday January 22nd….

I woke at 6am today, a frosty winter’s morning in England, time travel has happened, yesterday I woke at the same time ( although the clock read 7am in Spain!) to a balmy Almuñécar with Facebook announcing to me that the sun was returning to Almunecar (FB knows everything it seems !)

When I landed at Gatwick later the same day, I found myself with a trio who had never landed at Gatwick before needing to get from the north terminal to the train station in the south terminal…
Two were Spanish twin brothers, coming to spend 6 months in Brighton working and polishing their English…
I told them I wanted to keep speaking Spanish and they wanted to start speaking English, so we agreed to speak each other’s language as we navigated our way through a busy Saturday afternoon at Gatwick airport…. The third of the party was also Spanish, a lady who now lives in South Africa and was in the UK to visit her son, but interestingly she is Spanish by birth and so acted a very good translator at times translation was needed!

Spain was following me…

Once I had established they all were okay and knew which platforms and trains to catch, I bought my own ticket and sat for twenty minutes watching the world go by….

And today (Sunday 22nd Jan) I am in a bright feisty frosty world of beauty.
I ran to the Lamb pub to meet Jim and Rupert , it was just getting light and as we ran to the seafront we watched the sun rise in magnificent streaky pink pale blue beauty

And now, February 1st, I am about to post this piece of writing in sunny Lanzarote, the sun gently starting to sink in the sky….

A few hours ago my sister Rosy and I took off from Gatwick…

My musings on the plane….

‘I feel the need the need for speed….’
I am sitting next to my sister Rosy who is chatting to the lady next to her;

My friend Athena Jane has a mission to get the whole world saying in unison ‘I feel the need, the need for speed’ – from the film ‘Top Gun’- as the plans soars into the sky … Maybe today I was the only one who said it, on this flight, but I am sure it will ‘take off”! There is a group of us committed to the cause…

We are climbing into the air and it feels very fast, more fast than usual, maybe it is because I am looking down to write.

The last ten days in Eastbourne have been rich with experience, and they have flown by.

I started this piece in the extreme cold and frost, and today Rosy and I stood queuing to board the plane on a mild rainy day, weak winter sun filtering through the grey.

My sister loves rowing and has her own single skull, she soon discovered that the lady next to her has an Olympian rower son, Toby Garbett… I can hear snippets of the conversation about Sydney and Athens, and Beijing….

The magic of energy…. In this instance the energy of the rowing boat…!

We are all more connected and connecting through the unconscious, through what we are giving out energetically, than we fully acknowledge.

If we look out and observe our own creations, it can bring us more fully to our centre and to the responsibility of being in every moment and no where else.

I am loving having shed my shoes completely and living my life in naked feet or in my ‘beach socks’, my feet can feel the ground more than ever before… The socks offer a bit of protection from the cold and random possible objects on the path… But the movement of my feet is free, and the strength in them is noticebaley greater… And, I feel different.

I have shed even more possessions, so that I can now travel with all I own in my hand luggage; which is currently is at my feet in front of me.

I feel different in my energy field… It is hard to describe what is different, as this particular shift in energy doesn’t have any particular story to it.

Other than that it was in September, when I was last in Lanzarote.
Perhaps this is the story…

I arrived still not fully mobile or pain free, from an injury I sustained at the end of July. Anadi and I made a trip to the beach and I watched the surfers warming up on Famara Beach.
They did many exercises with some running too, all in their bare feet.
It sparked something in me….

‘Maybe I can run in my barefeet again? Maybe that is a way I can run without my body hurtling?

Nearly five months have passed, and I am returning to Lanzarote again. I feel much lighter and freer within myself, and in my body. it is more agile and pain free than I can remember.

I have taken, and continue to take, the barefoot journey very slowly… I didn’t run every day for the first couple of months and I ran in vivobarefoot shoes as well as completely barefoot, until last week, when I started to run everywhere in my beach socks, and shed more of my possessions.

It feels like I am embarking on a new stage of the journey, the road less travelled….

And although there are changes that are visible on the outside, I observe they are a reflection of me and my inner landscape.
A limitless journey always unfolding and revealing itself on the road ahead.
And all we must do is take it step by step
Pasó a paso