Everything changes, but love changes not…

And now we are in Dorset…

It is like magic that we travel on the wings of time, which swirls around without a beginning nor end… One minute we are in Morocco; the next in London – and now with a silent whoosh of energy it seems that we have been propelled to a land that is different again… Soft rolling hills, narrow country lanes, hedgerows already burgeoning with the feel of September…

Towards the end of our journey I was feeling hungry; again… Since returning to English shores, after my ‘short illness’ in Morocco – that extended to an active tummy for the time we were there, I have had a bigger appetite and the thought of (another!) cream tea called to me…

In that state of hunger, I was aware of slight confusion as the land changed again; nowhere to call ‘home’… I noticed the slight unrest and so settled into my heart, where my home is  – the stillness, the place of love, and the trust of what we do not know and cannot see…

I was aware of a slight uneasiness within the insecurity of nothing ness, and watched as it swirled away too into the ether of no time.

I celebrate these experiences, when the lack of permanence – no fixed abode – brings anything up from inside me, that points an arrow to where I might like to ‘hold on’…

I then reflected backwards, as we moved forwards along the lanes and through the villages… A swift journey into the vortex of time, and saw my life flash by… So many people who are no longer there; so many people who I spent time with, worked with, played with, went to school with… People I loved and never contemplated might not be there…

There are so many people who touch our lives and we theirs, and then as life and the concept of time marches on – we look around and they are no longer there…

Gone through circumstances, change, death, endings… All gone; and we, for now, remain.

Travelling in a little blue bubble of a car, through time and through changing landscapes, speeding along to who knows where…

And so we cannot hold on; everything ends; nothing stays the same.

Not even from one minute to the next…

But we try too hard to make things permanent, certain, unchanging, forever… And all we need do is let go and know that within us there is love and love is forever.

The people may go, and the circumstances might change, and this lifetime will end; everything dies… But love remains; and so to find this place that is unchanging, the silent stillness of god, of love… All we must do is let go when we find we are trying to hold on. Because that is not love.

This does not mean we might not stay in one place, with the same people, doing the same thing… But whatever our hearts calling we will know when we are holding on, and when it is time to let go.

And so as I reflected on the experiences of my life, the people, the past that has all faded away and never was – and all fear of an unknown, uncertain future, where everything could change again – faded too…

And then an oasis of a ‘cafe come art gallery’ rose up, as if created there and then for Anadi and I, for our own private ‘film of our life’…

This time last year I did not know that my life would be totally different now, to how it was then… That I would no longer be working with clients in the way I had done for the past few decades – or that I would own no shoes…

Or that I would be running across the length of Spain on these shoeless feet…

We cannot plan, really and truly. Not at the deepest level. We can listen to our inner voice, to our intuition, to hear the journey of our soul… And then use this brain of ours to put into place the necessary steps… But this is ‘listening planning’ rather than ‘making happen’ planning…

On the outside it doesn’t look any different; it is on the inside that only we will know if we are planning from ego and fear, or from our hearts calling and love….

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