A healthy self concept; love and acceptance….

The view from my window changes almost daily at the moment… From a seascape in Dorset, to the fields of Provence – to a Sunday run on the South downs as if I had never left – and now I am looking out over the north terminal at Gatwick airport…

Changing vistas, blue skies to grey; sun to rain, green grass to concrete buildings, cars, trains and planes…

The complexity and variety of life on this planet, flashing around me as I journey within; deeper and deeper to a place where I now find that as I bounce around the planet I need no adjustment.

In the beginning, I could feel wrenched away from a place and needed time to get used to the new… Now I find I hit the ground – both literally and metaphorically – running, and the only thing that is really noticeable is the stretchy feeling of time…

A week ago Anadi and I were in Provence… It could be 6 months ago – But by the same token when I meet up with an old friend after a few months, it feels like we had a coffee together only last week….

I love the nomadic life, the planet my home… My belongings on my back and off I go. Anadi is on a techy software course in Cheltenham, so for a few nights we are a two home family!

I woke up in my new home today… Yesterday I stepped out onto Eastbourne seafront to run ten miles on the glorious south downs, today I made my way through the Hilton Hotel at Gatwick to the gym there, available 24 hours…

And this is where I notice my energy has changed significantly… Because nowadays, I always feel good running… This has changed as I have changed. Feeling leaden when running was a normal occurrence, in the past… Something to be endured until I felt light again… I would particularly notice this feeling when travelling or when training after lost sleep – or a change in weather or environment… But now I always feel fluid and fluent.

I ran 10k today on the treadmill…  I warmed up for a mile, ran a mile faster, ran 1/2 a mile at 10 minute pace and repeated 3 times and then cooled down… It was fun, easy and flowing. As I ran I recognised that the part within me that used to try to do more than I could has left… It simply doesn’t exist anymore.

Before I started to run barefoot, I had had a knowing deep down that I needed to start my running all over again… Go back to basics and start at the very beginning; but a thread hung on to what I knew and to the out dated patterns – and I didn’t do it… Until I shed my shoes…

And so the session was comfortable because I didn’t try to run at 7 min miles; I ran where I can feel my natural pace is at the moment…

Of course running this way brings a feeling of possibility, joy and expansion… It felt easy, so I feel I can do more… I am hungry to train again… I feel good about the experience… Win win…

When the over push dynamic is still alive, then the part that is used to struggling, and making things hard, is often trying to be somewhere its not ready to be yet… This attitude means that the whole experience can have a lower vibration energy, too hard, at our limit, can’t do any more, a feeling of dread at doing it again…

Feeling bad about the experience – lose lose …

The key is to have a healthy self concept now; one that is not dependent on our performance in any arena. This way we can stay in the moment, witnessing ourselves clearly without an inflated or negative self concept; but simply one of awareness and self knowledge…  From this place we are open to guidance support because we do not receive it from a place of ‘not good enough’, but from a position of  ‘I wonder what I can do?’

Thinking that anything outside us can make us feel good about ourselves is a chimera… Accepting ourselves and doing things from this place of self love makes for happiness and health and ongoing full involvement in our lives.

Happiness is always to be found inside us, it is an fruitless and endless search if we persist in looking outside, and this orientation can trap us in a feeling of urgency and desperation as we keep seeking…

When all the time we need only look within….

Synchronicity…

Last night we were honoured to be guests at the ‘gin off’, because we don’t make gin…! This is an annual ‘event’ where my old friends  – who I have run many many miles with on the South downs – make sloe gin from the sloe berries that grow wild on the South downs…

In September they gather for an evening of eating drinking and socialising, and sloe gin tasting and ‘judging’…  Anadi and I joined in with that bit and enjoyed the delicious food and the fun of catching up with our friends…

We then left them to the serious business of the gin tasting competition…

Today the two of us rose early and ran to the sea front, where we were greeted in spectacular fashion by the dawn – we bathed in the early sun streaking and splashing its red energy across the sky… As we ran along we witnessed the light circling and spiralling inward and around until there was just an ball of yellow orange light hanging in the sky above the sea… The chilly breeze soon softened as the warmth rose over the land we ran on – the rough stone sea front, the springy grass…

On the top of the downs we heard a shout ‘have you forgotten your shoes…?’

And there speeding along on their bikes were Jim and Gordy who we had seen last night at the ‘gin off’… Of all the ‘bike riders’ who there last night, these two were the only two to make it out this morning – to clear their heads and to celebrate a triumphant win, and podium places from the ‘gin off’ last night!
Gordy had won the outright pure gin; and Jim had two third places, one for the blend category…

How wonderful, the timing… The exact spot where we all met… We couldn’t have planned it and as always I wondered in the energetic resonance, the magnetic power of energy…The synchronicity… How we will meet who we meet; if we were to see ourselves in energy or in colour we would see more clearly where the resonance is; how the patterns and frequency is moving, bouncing and merging –  and how it is all unfolding….

It can give us an opportunity to reflect more deeply and to notice our souls path unfolding… For, however confusing it my seem, in this life, this journey – there is a rhythm and a resonance, patterns are playing out and it is all part of the dance of the universe…

The more we let go, the more we can enjoy the ride…

Some people thoroughly enjoy being on a big dipper, a roller coaster… Others are terrified…

The only certain thing about being here is that nothing is certain – at a ‘mental’ level – and yet when we surrender and let go, when we embrace the roller coaster it is possible to reach the place within where everything is still, and then we are at ease and there is a certainty in trusting…

Night follows day, and day follows night. For all the despair in the world, there is an equal amount of joy.

If we stretch our arms out to the side and we deem one finger to be negativity and one to be positivity; when we look to one finger then we can’t see the other… And so it is…

If we think the world is a dark place and we are looking there then that is what we see; if we think all is love and light and we are looking that way then that is what we see.

But when we know that both are true; in the same way that night exists and so does day… But that there is a place beyond this. A place beyond opinion agenda light and dark; a place of pure silence; then we stop the see saw of looking this way and that, swinging between dark and light, joy and despair – and a radiant light space reveals itself; pure bliss…

We hugged the boys good bye and ran on; the sparkly day lending itself to a very clement run and then again, the energy swirled and whirled in magical patterns across the sky as we ran down the hill, because coming up the hill towards us was Carol – Jim’s wife – who we have never seen out running before..

synchronicity, serendipity… Energy communicating, connecting, drawing together, resonating reverberating all across the land…