Caught in a storm

Today I was caught in a storm in the mountains…

I had set off for a long walk, deciding to give both my body and my voice a chance… Feet and spirit were more than willing, but as flesh is showing signs of weakness – I chose what seemed to be a wise option…

Seemed wise…!

Until I was along the mountain path and I saw the first spots of rain… ‘It did that yesterday’, I reasoned and then they disappeared… but these drops didn’t disappear; they started to get more and more huge and heavy – and then there was a flash, and almost immediately an enormous thunder clap…

I turned ‘on a sixpence’ at that point and my walk turned immediately into a run…

There is a shorter route down the side of the mountain to the back of my little white house, but once again I couldn’t remember the ‘lightening safety rules’!

That route is wooded with lots of trees and narrow paths… What to do? The lightening burst insistently across the sky and the thunder responded resoundingly soon afterwards – I was getting soaked…

It crossed my mind this wasn’t great for weak flesh… Before I reached the turning and the point where I would need to make my decision about which route to choose, a car pulled up beside me and hesitantly enquired if I needed a lift…. I leapt in gratefully.

The couple and their dog had been going to walk in the mountains, but the rain changed their plans; thankfully for me…

And now I am in my little white house, cosy and warm, the lightening just took the internet and so I more and more being thrown into my unplanned retreat… Which I have clearly planned at an unconscious level…

I am really enjoying it… I have discovered that an orientation that can help us observe ourselves and stay present is to watch the unfolding of our life in wonder… ‘What an interesting useful thing for my growth, my learning – I planned here’; we can think, if there is a challenge or a difficulty to unravel…

If we even for a moment investigate  from the position that our energy is created everything in each moment, then if we stay in each moment and stay connected to it, it follows that we can shift things around both in our past and our future, because they are all occurring now.

The most important shift is to move from thinking or feeling that ‘things happen to us’ – to truly connecting to our own energy, our own actions, our own responsibility… Now of course this doesn’t mean that things that happen are ‘our fault’ especially when we might have had terrible experiences, loss, abuse, abandonment and hurt…

But, after we have explored and gone right into the core of the wound, the anger, the shame, the grief, the hurt, the loss of self… It is only us who can heal the wound, it is only us who can clear away the feelings, shift our energy and so create new experiences with a clearer field…

Things are not our fault, we have been creating our own unique energy over lifetimes and lifetimes, and for many of these lifetimes with no awareness, this cannot therefore be our fault… We were simply living things out, responding, doing the best we could or the worst… Until the glimmer of awareness started to creep in…

The awareness that we can heal our life, that we can change things… Energy can’t be destroyed but it can be transmuted and transformed… And we and the whole universe are energy, which follows that we can – with practise – clear our energy fields and thereby create different experiences….

I have created for myself a silent mountain retreat where my body feels like it’s clearing something out… I have no idea what yet…

My processes are different these days, they seem to be very physical but I don’t have any particular story to them, unless it emerges from within – an insight – otherwise they just seem to clear another layer away and open me to something else…

And so I watch in wonder to see what the next barefoot step reveals… These feet of mine that seem now to have a life and mind all of their own.

It is like I am seeing my soul in motion through watching my feral feet….

 

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