Our life a process…

Our whole life is a process… A journey from our birth to our death.

While we’re here on planet earth in a body, anything we might undertake – any endeavour – is an opportunity to become connected to and understand ourselves – to know and remember our essential self.

All learning is to find out what, at the deepest level, we already know – the level of our most profound self…

So whatever we are attracted to – wherever we would like to develop new skills, to get better at something, to master it… We have the opportunity also become a master of life…

Becoming a master of life can then lead to becoming a master of letting go of this life – of ultimately learning how to die well.

If we live well, in each moment, then we can die well too.

This can only be experienced through practice…

Everything can be achieved through practice. But to fully ‘achieve’ things with Zen – being here and now – we must experience everything fully.

Of course there will be some things in our own unique energetic body, that we are more naturally inclined towards and when we practice them, the expression that emerges might be more expensive, more colourful, more bright, more fast, more tuneful… A higher level in terms of how we measure things on planet earth – than someone else…

But the secret is to value who we are and the expression of ourselves, without comparison to others…

We might be inspired by the achievements and expressions of others – but it is important that we do not compare ourselves in any negative way.

This is painful for the spirit and holds up our journey here, and misses the point…

If we are attracted to perfect a skill – there need be no comparison to another person or another expression of the same thing!

We are all unique and whatever our own expression on planet earth, in whatever endeavour we want to undertake, it is unique and valuable.

What is important is the practice.

The practice of our art… What is important is to discover ourselves within the process, to see and experience our own light and our own unique colour… To share ourselves and to be generous with our energy.

The art of running has been a lifelong practice for me.

I remember it all began when I was six years old – I am fifty nine years old now – fifty three years have passed and I am still perfecting the art of running… I am still diving deep into the learning the art and the practice of running.

In recent years I notice that the tension has gone and i feel like the child again.

I noticed when I was practicing to run barefoot across Spain, that the ingredients necessary to become fit enough were very easy. It was simply that each day I must turn up at the blank page…

We have a blank page in each new day, because in this paradigm there is night and then there is day again, which means that we have a new start every single day.

In fact, we have a new start in every moment, because there is only this moment. But in living this life on planet earth, with the illusion of linear time, every day we wake up to a fresh start…

Every day is new, so every day there is an new page on which we can create our life.

We can practice our own art, we can practice our life, we can hone our skills and it doesn’t matter how long it takes. It doesn’t matter if we are still practicing our skills and honing them and that when we come to die, we haven’t ‘arrived’ – because there is nowhere to get to, so we can’t arrive anywhere.

There is only the deepening of the practice, which where possible, needs to be practised without tension. It’s ultimate is that it is carried out with joy, expressed with clarity, because whatever we are practicing is being communicated out into the world for others to see

Now of course this doesn’t mean that we don’t dare start, because we are aware that our expression and our art cannot be clear and free of tension when we begin…

Because it is in the practicing that we can see where there is tension and stress, and so have the opportunity to clear it away. It is in the practicing that we discover our tension, and our fear, and also where we learn how to free our soul so that it is in motion through the conduit of the physical manifestation…

I have discovered that in practicing running almost every day of my life, that gradually there has been more and more freedom in each step – more Zen…

So for thirty eight weeks before I crossed Spain in my bare feet, I just turned up each day with no thought, just the action of one bare foot in front of the other…

In the past when I was training for events – while there were degrees of tension still left within me, often I would wake in the mornings and my immediate thoughts were often of this nature… ‘It’s too early’ – ‘it’s still dark’ – ‘I feel tired’ – ‘I don’t want to go’ – ‘Why am I doing this?’

Because of these thoughts, early on in my life, I trained myself to ‘just go anyway’ – to ‘just do it’, as the Nike slogan says.

I trained myself to silence my mind and its resistance.

I learned how to become the master of my body and my mind; rather than the body and mind controlling ‘me’.

I trained myself to silence my mind, firstly through the practice of putting other things into the mind – so it wasn’t exactly silencing the mind, but it was a route to stillness.

In place of any negative thoughts, I put mantras, for example ‘I love you thank you thank you I love you’ was one of my favourites, as well as ‘I’m sorry please forgive me I love you thank you’ – and there were others at different times ‘Om ma ni pad me hum’ and ‘Nam myoho renge kyo’… To name a few.

Immediately, when I awoke in the morning, if I felt these negative thoughts coming in, I would start the mantra. This meant that straight away a relaxation occurred within my being… I would then get out of bed and begin my daily practice of stretching and strength and balancing exercises… Meanwhile coffee would be brewing in the kitchen, so next I would go and sit and drink coffee.

I didn’t allow any thoughts of ‘I don’t want to go’ or ‘it’s raining’ or ‘it’s cold and dark’ to enter my being… I would instead just enjoy my ‘coffee meditation’ – present to each delightful sip, and would then literally step out of the front door.

With any practice we have a blank page of a new day, or the blank page of a new moment. Or the blank page a new hour – All we need do is begin – and the beginning is about taking one step.

One step is all that is needed, and then the next takes care of itself – and the next and the next.

This is the same in any practice, whether that be learning something academic, learning to cook, learning to sing, learning a language… Anything that we want to do – simply turning up is necessary, and not getting attached to how long it might take.

This can be more challenging of course, when we’re in an arena where there is a syllabus with a time scale… I had a time scale off thirty eight weeks ahead of me… But I had given myself plenty of time to train to get fit enough to run across Spain.

If we have any patterns of self sabotage we might set ourselves too short a time to achieve a goal, or we might start on a course with the syllabus and then not do the necessary work and get caught out because exams are approaching…

Or we might try too hard – not recognising that we don’t need to put this much effort in and then burn ourselves out with this energy of ‘trying too hard’ and doing too much…

Or we might set a level so high that it asks too much of us… Or we get attached to the outcome, and stop enjoying the process… And so on and so on!

It can be very difficult sometimes to stay exactly in the step we are in…

But the truth of the matter is we need to practice turning up and not looking too much ahead and or too much behind.

Occasionally of course, both can be useful in this paradigm, because if we have a goal ahead, and our motivation feels a bit low we can cast our eyes ahead to see the goal – whether that be a sporting event, or anything that we are working towards…

We can remember why we’re putting in the work, and sometimes it can be useful to look back and see how far we’ve come – to notice our improvement.

But the most important thing is that we turn up, and keep practicing, and then we will find the value in the practice as time unfolds…

This is why a goal can be very useful, because in setting a very high goal, it can be wonderful to stretch and discover we have unrealised skills, we might discover latent talents and inner strengths that we did not know we had…

Which had we not set the goal we would never have found.

This is why following things that excite us, or interest us, can be wonderful for our growth – to ‘find out’ through the practises…

So if our body is stiff and we want to be able to do more with it, if we want to create a supple body… It is simply practicing stretching the body and feeling it and clearing it and moving it… Doing this day after day after day and in the direction that truly supports our own unique body and its letting go, it’s opening…

And if it is seeking to learn a new language, it is just the same – turning up every day – doing a bit, doing a bit and doing a bit more and trusting that in the times where nothing much seems to be happening, this can be the time when a lot is happening…

It is often in those patches where we must just keep going…

And rest is vital too… Rest is integral to any practice.

Practicing is a vital part of life on earth, practicing anything, practicing, meditation, practicing, singing, practicing speaking in public…

In my case practicing Spanish – and practicing running.

But all of these things, also improve in the times of rest, when we let go and simply rest with nothing happening at all. Nothing attaching to anything that we feel we ‘need to do’.

It is always remembering that being still is the ultimate place to practise living from  – being silent – dropping between the thoughts to the place of complete silence…

The practice of stillness and silence is the most vital part of any practice.

If we practice from this place of silence, then our expression is limitless, and there is no attachment to an outcome.

And then who knows what is possible.

Preparation time….

Many years ago I woke up in the night to hear a voice speaking clearly to me… It was very early in the morning, about 3am. and the voice said…’When you decide on a course of action, be certain, because others will follow you…’

I took this counsel very seriously… My energy is such that I gather people, and when I suggest things, they tend to join in…!

And so in the years between 2003, when I heard this voice – and 2017 when the idea was born to run across Spain in my bare feet… In those intervening years, I continued to embrace my main expressions of writing, running – training for a variety of races – and working as a guía and sanación, whilst all the time moving towards my dream of living a life of doing all those things in the sun…!

But I held back from anything that might involve a lot of people, because I recognised the truth of those words…

‘Once a course of action is decided others will follow…’

I took that very seriously…

I’m very glad I did, because in July 2017, when the idea to run across Spain in my bare feet was conceived, it immediately had a life of its own. It became more than just a run across Spain… That would have been something very different just to set off on my own adventure – quietly, privately…

But this became a journey for many, not just me… It became something that I was sharing, and inviting others to join me in.

The time it took to be ready to ‘set off’ was almost the same time it takes for a baby to be created – nearly nine months long… The idea was conceived in July and I began running at the end of March…

It was however, a smooth journey to the start line – the road unfolded in front of me right from the very beginning… It was almost like it had already happened, and I must now live it to find out more about it, and about myself…

It felt to be a ‘pilgrim’s progress’ – a Peregrinaje – an internal journey … And as it transpired it was also a transformative journey for many of those who joined me on the path – and not only those who came along on the actual journey – but also for those who listened and watched my daily progress through Spain via social media. I witnessed the journey touching many people.

The idea was born and I was the messenger… It was almost like I was being given a task and within this important role, there was going to be great opportunity for growth – therefore, I must not question, but just follow…

It was of course, very much a physical journey and one that was going to be reliant on my body being fit enough, and my feet being strong enough, and so I planned a training program…

But even that was very smooth… I simply plotted the miles I must run….

I chose a weekly training load of 40 miles because my feet had run it on their own – I realised that I had just run forty miles in one week… I hadn’t planned it, so there was no push to it – it had just occurred… ‘We’re feeling strong’ they had communicated… Just as this idea was about to be born…

I saw that my feet held the wisdom and so I reckoned that if they had happily run forty miles all on their own, then they would be willing to run forty miles every week… And it transpired that they were…

It made sense that my long run on a Sunday generally needed to be the distance that I would be running every day as I journeyed across Spain – twenty five kilometers… In truth I didn’t do exactly that, but I ran between twelve and fifteen miles every Sunday…

My job was to get my body and my feet very, very strong and very, very fit.

And the best way to do this was to run…!

I looked to see if there was any way that I could make the soles stronger more quickly – but every single thing I read gave the same advice – run barefoot!

So I ran barefoot – unless it was very cold, or the ground was very uncomfortable and then I put on my Skinners socks… But essentially I just ran barefoot all over the place.

There was a building of excitement… I broadcast the journey out into the world… I wrote about it, I spoke about it..

And in Spain too… I went to a Press Conference in Granada where I had to sit at the head of a table full of journalists who fired questions at me in Spanish!

I was starting to be interviewed on the radio in England too, articles were being written, and a television news program filmed me running on Eastbourne seafront in my bare feet.

In Spain I was asked to do an interview for a newspaper in Spanish – my first interview in Spanish on the telephone…! When I saw the article in the newspaper, I was delighted that I had managed to communicate my story and my journey as a metaphor for our life journey – in Spanish!

Essentially I was talking about the journey we’re all on… I was communicating about living fully… How do we live fully?

If we truly stay fully in the step, and feel everything – the feet being the metaphor for this – when we can feel everything that goes on within us, and fully experience this life…. With all its sensations, sensitivities, everything… Then we are fully present.

Within being fully present and within experiencing absolutely everything, we will start to know our true selves…. Whether it is the wonderful taste of a bar of chocolate, or the first sip of coffee, or a fabulous meal – anything to do with our senses and taste… Or when we listen to music and its most absolute beauty touches our body…When it’s hot or cold outside and our body feels the sensations – when it’s in pain – when it’s at ease; everything at the physical level of being in a human body…

And to fully feel every single emotion too… Every feeling that we feel and so to clear everything within us, to feel absolutely everything.

If we feel an emotion rising in us, whether that be off anger, hurt, any feeling; even if we have an extreme feeling of excitement – or a welling up of joy…

If we feel every single one of them, it means that by feeling – we can drop down into the place of silence which is beyond all of those feelings – and more especially beyond the thoughts and stories associated with those feelings…

If we give ourselves the absolute permission to feel everything – and practice this – then we won’t attach any significance to wanting to stay with those feelings… Or more importantly get attached to the patterns and stories associated with them… Or act out of them as they are often from the past.

Instead we fully experience ourselves in this very moment – and any emotions triggered in the present, but associated with past events have the opportunity to be fully felt, and so healed as if they were happening for the first time…

And also feelings of joy and love, of being in love, of excitement – of amazing delight… If we experience them fully, then we won’t get attached to those, any more than we would try to reject the feelings of hatred, pain, disappointments, frustration…

If we absolutely properly experience every single thing, on this human journey; Then we are able to experience ourselves as consciousness experiencing itself – and gradually over time we will become the witnesser to our experience here…

Beyond the attachment to our ‘self’ is the place of absolute silence and a realisation of our true self.

To be absolutely fully present in every single step, moves us towards a place off the deepest possible relating we could ever have – first and foremost with our essential selves – and from that space we can relate to others in an unconditional way….

from a place of true love.

But more often we look ‘outside themselves’ for that connection, that relationship – because we don’t have the understanding that we must feel everything, and be responsible for everything we feel without projection or distraction or numbing…

The sense of the true self can get covered over by the feelings that have been suppressed – feeling our feelings and recognising that they are to do with us – that there is no one else to blame – sets us free…

Because the feelings keep rising up, so then what can happen is then they get projected ‘outwards’…. So instead of them being about the experience of the person, instead they can get projected onto what is in front of them.

Whether this is onto another person, or a situation, or other people – all sorts of things. But the projection goes out and it’s whether that projection of disappointment, anger, frustration or even a projection off extreme wonder, joy, amazingness… If it gets projected onto others, rather than being a recognition of our own amazingness, creativity, wonder, fabulousness – or our own feelings of anger, hatred, disappointment which are at the deepest level always going to be to do with self – and the separation from ourselves.

But if we can’t feel the feelings, we can’t know ourselves…

The important thing on this journey across Spain, was going to be about staying in the step and about letting the path reveal itself

We had Jack and Maggie doing an amazing job of plotting the route… But I didn’t know the route, and I didn’t know what I was going to feel on the road… I didn’t know what was going to occur.. Jack and Maggie worked very hard to plot a route all the way across Spain from Suances in the North, all the way down to Almuñécar…

While that preparation was going on, my preparation was broadcasting it, letting people know and, of course, within that the money started to come into to support the Friends of Sussex Hospices, and Fundación Cudeca…

After twenty weeks on 40 miles – I committed for the next eighteen weeks which was going to lead up to the start date on March 23rd, I committed to upping the mileage, but I didn’t set a kind of a demand from what happened and I ended up averaging fifty four miles a week for the next eighteen weeks and sometimes I did some bigger weeks. I think my biggest weeks were sixty seven miles…

I never approached the total mileage that I was going to be doing during the challenge, which was going to average eighty four miles a week for the seven weeks while I was crossing Spain…!

I didn’t approach that really ever except from one challenge I came to Almuñécar in January and I did one five day section where I did twenty five k a day, for five days and it was an interesting experiment, because for one thing it rained twice during that time – and my feet didn’t like that!

I became aware that rainy conditions weren’t great for bare feet because it softens them, and then the running road is a bit like sand paper really so I was aware of that, and I was aware that 25k a day wasn’t difficult for my fitness levels… So I knew how fit I was and that if the weather conditions weren’t good then they would be vulnerable…!

I also knew that there was nothing more I could do…

I recognised that I was as fit as I could be – my feet were strong as they could be – and that I had to just let go of anything that might I might be concerned about – and I saw there wasn’t anything in me that was concerned…

I knew that I could do this…

I knew in some ways that I had already done it… I remember having a conversation with Maricarmen, and she said to me… ‘You’ve already done this – now you’ve just got to go and experience it and enjoy it…’

And she was absolutely right. There was something within me that knew that the journey had been completed, that the challenge was not, in the end, going to be about making my way across Spain – I knew that I could do that. Even though as it happened, there was huge physical challenges for me, but somehow that wasn’t it.

There was something bigger, it was a pilgrimage, and it was it was going to be a travelling pilgrimage. It was traveling retreat. It was going to be about something very, very big, in truth, Barefoot Across Spain was much more than just the journey, running from one end of a country to another…

It was a pilgrimage of transformation.

 

 

 

Back to the very beginning

I understood from the very beginning that we are born of consciousness,  children of god, of the universe… I was brought up with this concept – and I was brought up with the idea of the big bang – from whence this paradigm, this universe emerged.

I also grew up with the gospels… ‘And the word was god and the word was with god and the word was god…’ and I recognised at very young age, in fact I came in with the concept, that ‘the word’ was everything that is this paradigm, and that we were all the word, which was love – the word was with god/love – the word was consciousness…

That we were all expressions of consciousness, and on that day when ‘the big bang’ happened, then consciousness was able to experience itself in every single respect… From the darkest dark; the most horrible, horrible to the lightest light –the most beautiful beautiful… And every single aspect in the spectrum – all aspects… Because this paradigm of yin and yang has to be in perfect balance – and so there will always be equal measures of dark to light…

And lifetimes and lifetimes of experiencing being in a human body has meant we can experience this paradigm, with the illusion of separation. By being in a body and being in effect separate, has meant that during the human journey we are able to experience our energy – and when we start to remember and see again, from whence we are born, when we start to be aware and more conscious – the journey to clearing our energy begins…

We can start to ‘work it out’, rather than ‘live it out’… We can start see things within us, in reflection of other people – and we can make choices and elect how we live and eventually free ourselves from the samsara…

Free ourselves from the chains of the body and so be free…

I remember understanding this when I was eight years old. I was sitting in church listening to the vicar… He was giving us a sermon about the serpent with tail in its mouth… That this was the journey the soul needed to go through – to go into and clear all the darkness, to be able to free up from the lower energies – the levels of envy, greed, anger, guilt, hate, everything in the lower chakras associated with fear and survival – in the darkness of the shadows – and also of course in the shadows can lurk feelings of judgement, pride and superiority – ‘I’m better than you’ – all of those need clearing too.

So – I understood that we must go through into the shadow – into the darkness; to clear everything, to enable us to return to the place of silence and peace… And that the serpent with tail in its mouth is completing the whole circle to wholeness…

I understood this when I was 8 years old – so for most of my life – the sermon was fifty one years ago – has been journeying with a commitment to experiencing fully and so of clearing – and with an understanding of the consciousness from which we were born, and of life everlasting…

I deeply understood that I was responsible for my reactivity to situations and to whatever I encountered in relationship. and in knowing this, when I was fourteen I can remember recognising very acutely that if I was horrible to somebody it was worse than other people – because I had greater understanding and therefore it was ‘not okay’, because I had an awareness and I already knew how to clear reactivity, rather than act out of it…

This doesn’t mean I always succeeded!

As a little girl I was also a runner… I had set out on the journey of my life with an awareness of it being a spiritual path when I was very little, and I also had a big awareness of death right from the early years – and my mother – who along with my little sister Rosy, I’m sorry to say I was horrible to from time to time – died when I was 16 and ironically my path was open. In some ways she freed me… But it wasn’t what I wanted one bit at the time – on the human journey. I felt that my mother understood me completely and I felt completely safe with her – and now I was set loose to reclaim that within myself…

I knew that it was a finite time in the body… But I also came into this life as a Christian and I internalised from these teaching as that there was life everlasting, so this journey in this body wasn’t the end or even the beginning…

I felt it was a training ground…

And I was also barefoot… I have memories of just racing around the lawn in my childhood home, with much greater freedom than I was later to experience. This was before I took up the burdens in my life which were energies from lives past that I had brought in to work out….

An opportunity to do the work in the school of life here on planet earth.

I have a this memory of my bare feet hitting the grass running, running, running, because I came in to run… I came in to run, I came in to run… And I say that all those twice because I can’t exactly explain why – because I don’t think there is a ‘why’…

I just came here to run.

It is my art and the art of running is my expression… It is my element and it is how I paint a picture… I have just always loved to run…

Teaching people and working with people has arisen from me working out how to free the chains that bound me up, and prevented my running from being the purest expression of art… Instead of that, it was often coming from tension, coming from pain – coming from some other place than its purest source….For of course when running comes from source, then like anything, what a joy and what an expression for others to see…

And I see that now – in truth, I have always seen it at some level; that for the whole of my life, my running has inspired people, my running has given people joy – given them something – given them permission to do what they truly want; what matters to them!

And so now I have reached the place I have always known… That I was born to run and that the most important thing is to have no fear. We must not fear what we are born to do!

And now having run across Spain in my bare feet where it became even more obvious that all I must do is run… I am very glad that I am still on planet earth to experience my life of running. I am glad to have journeyed and returned to where I began… I have come full circle

I am experiencing the journey of the serpent with the tail in its mouth and the words of T S Eliot are very resonant for me….

‘We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time’.

As a little girl racing around on the beach in Africa, and then racing around on the grass in my childhood home – racing around on the playing fields in our village; asking my father to time me running, running, running free as a bird, free – loving it… Trying my best go faster… Fearless, just running and seeing what I could do… Not saving myself, or holding back in any way…

Freedom in motion.

So here I am at fifty nine years old, having journeyed all this time to return to the place I knew, but to follow and know it, consciously.

The reason I’m telling you about these beginnings, these barefoot beginnings, when I raced around on the grass, and the reason I’ve called this book ‘Barefoot to Buddha’, is because this route to my own freedom has in part been through the running step. I’ve always known this, but sometimes denied it because I thought I should be doing something a bit more sensible than going running…!

When I was a teenager, I joined an athletics club and on the first day, I did track session on the grass. I went up with my friend Wendy because it was an all boys athletics club and I felt a bit shy and so she came with me and lay on the grass watching us all run…

I have a vivid memory of running around on this grass track absolutely in my element in my bare feet….

Every time I wrote something about my running in my channeled writing, I was encouraged by my guides to keep running.

Every time I asked the question…

‘What should I be doing’? I was always told… ‘Do what you were born to do, you were born to run, and in the run, you will become more free, more you, and in the run you will become in the step – you will become the run… And in becoming the run you will free others too, because they will see your light and your light will guide them to their own freedom’.

And so I knew this and yet there was something in me that held me back, some sort of guilt, some obligation, some feeling off needing to ‘earn’ my place on planet earth, some feeling that I was wrong, ‘a bad girl’… And that I therefore had to ‘do good’ to earn my place.

Of course, the irony of this was that it held me back from my true running expression, and then there came more confusion in the running step rather than joy.

But I knew my path deep down, and so I never ever really left it. I never stopped ‘working it out’, and I don’t mean in my mind, I mean through continual experience

I would run free, then repeat a cycle of ‘self destruction’ and so lose my way again in a mire of illness and injury…. From which I would emerge wiser, stronger, greater understanding…

I would write some channeled words again, and these words always reminded me…

‘You were born to run, get back on the running path. That path takes you where it will and you will be free. What you have come to do is run, everything else will come from that place… Remember this for the people who seek you to teach them, that the first place for you to teach from, is to be learning how to run free yourself… To free yourself from anything that holds you back from your true expression…’

And so I always journeyed onwards…

This is why in the very beginning the steps towards the Buddha were barefoot steps…

As the years went by, I raced in shoes – albeit light ones… But then one day, I read the book ‘Born to run’ by Chris McDougall and it spoke to me…

And I wanted to run barefoot again… But because there was a tangle still within me left to unravel, I went too fast too soon and my legs got hurt – my feet and my ankles were not strong enough for the pace I went, and I withdrew again for awhile from the barefoot path… There was still ‘working out’ to be done…

But by the summer of 2017 my feet were bare and my soul was more free than ever before…

The journey from Suances to Almuñécar was calling me and I was calling others to join me. Each week I was spoke, broadcasting the journey, and others became excited… They booked up flights to come to Spain to run some of the route with me. The media became interested too, newspapers, radio and television…. A woman running across Spain in her bare feet capturing the imagination of many.

I knew it was a pilgrimage…

All the time I spoke with people, and they would ask me why? And I would reply; ‘I don’t know, it was my feet’s idea. My feet made the decision and I must follow them…

I was following my feet, my bare feet… I was following my running feet because they had always known the way if I’d let him show me.

At last I was following them and seeing where they would take me.

About Living….

And so immediately this journey became more than just about me going on a barefoot run across Spain! It was about living, about the journey of life – from birth to death – but also about staying in the step we are in… Being present to each moment… It started as an idea about running from the North to the South coast of Spain…. But in reality, it was about living – about being fully present.

This huge journey from Suances to Almuñécar – in my bare feet – became a metaphor of all of our journeys from our birth to our death…

Where on this planet there certainly appears to be a past, the present and a future… We are born, and then we journey through this life, and then we die…

Therefore it can be a very challenging concept that there is no past. There is no future… That actually we are in this moment, and that is all there is – and in fully experiencing each moment, we can come to experience that this whole universe – this whole incredible experiences is but an illusion…

And so can experience planet earth is a crucible for us to see our energy, where it flows – where it is stuck; to feel it all… To see and experience our unique vibration and energetic make up in a body.

We have the opportunity during our lifetime, to feel things – to feel and experience.

The samsara of this planet, the Yin to the Yang, mean that we are able to feel extremes – physically of hunger, of satiety – of cold and heat, of lack of plenty, but also emotionally, fear and ease, joy, sadness, hate, love… Fully experiencing these things, fully recognising all of the feelings within us.

And through feeling these things we can clear them and we can come to experience the silence from which we are born. The stillness, consciousness itself, which is beyond the duality of planet earth and this whole universe…

Being here is an opportunity to feel everything, absolutely every single thing.

And if we are completely able to be present, we experience life as Zen.

If we experience everything – every desire, if we taste every morsel of food – experience every feeling in the body and we are prepared to fully feel, until the point where it clears from us – whether that’s extreme joy, extreme pleasure or excitement… Passionate love and kindness – to extreme hatred, violence, jealousy, envy… To feel all these energies be able to feel them fully….

But without staying trapped in a story, or a projection of the feelings outward…

The responsibility is to feel them without attachment, without blame or projection, without distracting from them or numbing them down…

When we do this, we clear them and we can clear the pain from when it first occurred – even if this is lifetimes ago…

When we allow ourselves to feel without projection and instead to drop between the thoughts and the stories – we can find the space for the clearing to occur, and go beyond this world, to a place of complete silence…

And then we are able to be in the world, in the samsara of this whole experience – but not of it….

Treading the path in bare feet, was for me, another metaphor for this… Because walking without shoes, I can feel everything through the soles of my feet

Planet earth is also a wonderful mirror… Because we have the illusion of separation – because we have the illusion of ‘the other’ people… We get the opportunity to see ourselves – because in truth there is no other.

There is only this moment there is only us…

So every single person who we deem to be ‘outside us’ and separate and nothing to do with us, is actually a reflection of us!

Knowing this and looking at another as a reflection of every aspect of ourselves, leads us to become whole…

When we see every relationship as a mirror, then eventually we reach the point where we do not have a relationship with others, as such – we have only relating, and love – for there is only one true relationship, and that is with ourselves.

When this is whole and healed, then we can experience every single person without rejection ; experiencing the truth that we are one – there is no separation – only love…   Where we are not trying to get anything or expecting anything from the other – because we are totally aware, and have come to experience that there is no other… And there is only this moment…. Here and now…

But to experience this we must first engage fully in the rough and tumble of the illusion of separation and of fully relating without fear, of having relationships! Of living fully in every moment in every experience and doing the best we can to take responsibility knowing that there is no one to blame…

And so Barefoot Across Spain became a metaphor for life, a metaphor for beyond life… A metaphor for silence and for the step… A metaphor for the place of absolute truth, the way, transcending samsara.

Samsara is everything on this planet earth… We’re on the journey from life to death, and if in that were able to transcend the samsara and be in the silence all the time, then we are enlightened.

The Buddha, who was an enlightened being, said that there are three thousand possibilities in every moment…

He taught us how to be present, to be completely in the here and now, in this very moment, and in each moment, there is the whole universe. And within the universe there is every possibility…

We each have a unique, energetic makeup made up over lifetime’s lifetimes since the big bang, when the silence became manifest… We have created this part of the energy of the whole…

So there we are always contradictions. Life is a paradox… There is no other – but we all have a unique, energetic makeup of our own field.

This has occurred as we’ve come to experience being in a body, and created our energy over lifetimes… we are all waves in an ocean of consciousness…

Initially we lived lives unconsciously, surviving, connected to fear… But then the glimmer of consciousness arrived, and the understanding that it was possible to clear the energy and experience consciousness in the body…

To clear it, clear it, clear it to a place of freedom where the whole planet earth could be a playground, a place to joyfully dance and enjoy freedom and true love in the experience of being in a body.