Let go of fear and fly free…

Since returning from Lanzarote, after my magical week with my sister Rosy, I have not found a blogging moment…

My days have been spent engaged with Kathy and Haze on their retreats here in Spain, and my other clients on Skype too…

But today my day is stretching ahead with no sessions until 5 pm. Anadi is programming away indoors – he can’t see his screen outside… And I am sitting in the square in the sun.

Total bliss.

Years ago I went to Spain for a month alone, an almost silent retreat, in part due then to my extremely limited Spanish…!

I remember sitting outside in the sun, drinking a cup of café con leche one day, and experiencing a feeling of total happiness, pure joy… I wrote about it in a postcard to my friend Wendy which she still has. In it I said to her that I was living my dream life, running and writing in the sun.

Fourteen years years later and I am almost fully live that life, as a permanent way of life.

Sometimes it takes time to clear away anything that is in the way of us fully treading the path our inner voice leads us to, maybe obligation or fear or outdated beliefs about what we should or shouldn’t do, can get in the way…When in truth all we must do is keep trusting our inner guidance, clearing away any single feeling of tension, or grief, or sadness or frustration or fear…

Ahhh fear…

At the very core of most humans is fear, this is not surprising given we live in a body which needs to survive… But within this fear often there has come about a forgetting of our true nature.

As well as forgetting that we are all one, that we are all born of consciousness /god/love… When we remember this, it becomes far easier to let go, to trust, and to always release anything that arises from within in the way of judgement, blame, reactivity drowning out our inner silence.

For when we clear away the stress within, we will find that from the silence the path opens and reveals itself.

Today Anadi and I ran along the coastline with the sun rising, a shining ball of glorious light above the sea.We reached a beach at the end of the road, ran down to the rocks, scrambled over them to another beach. We ran along the edge of the surf and then picked our way up a rocky path…

Running in my bare feet has brought me more deeply in touch with myself at a translucent soul level, as well as grounding me on planet earth. I have a closer relationship with my feet and my body, and I notice that as my feet are strengthening, my running action of the young me is returning

I feel like I am flying on land, more free, more me…

Barefoot in Buxted

I am sitting by the log fire at Buxted Park – it is dark now outside… Lovely cosy English winter Saturday evening.
Today I went for my first exercise of the new year, around the park at Buxted…
A Beautiful washed grey green brown winters day, wet, damp air… I walked through the church yard and down the hill I know so well.


Many miles I have run here, round and round this park…
I first arrived here in 1988 and felt like I had come home…

And now I too feel at home here, but I have found that home is wherever my heart is, and more and more I find I am wherever I am and that this is home… where we are, in the here and now is home, because in truth our inner state is reflected in the outer realms, and so wherever we are expresses an aspect of us, it can only be thus.

We are all one, but reflecting different energetic aspects of the whole, and so our energy will be reflected in the place we are, and if we are there then it is something to do with our energy…
So within so without…

It is an orientation that we know, but keeping an eye on our tendencies to talk about the outer realms as if they aren’t to do with us is a valuable practise…

 

If we instead think of ourselves as the chess board, rather than a pawn on it, from this position we can live in a curious investigative way…

When things are happening around us – if we seek to ask ourselves ‘what is this to do with me? ‘ then we start to live in an entirely different way…from the inside out…

Blame leaves our energy…and so if we are not blaming another or the other or circumstances in any way, then we do not ‘cut off’ from one another…

For if something happens, and we feel ourselves react to it and instead of blaming or projecting the feeling onto what has occurred, but instead we are reflective and know that the reaction signals an opportunity to clear the energy, release the tension and heal the place of separation within us…

Then this magical journey becomes even more magical, as we notice the cycles and rhythms of life, the deepening understanding of our foot steps on this planet and we recognise that they are leading us in circles to an inner connection and a deeper understanding and a greater ability to express our truth in the world..

I notice this returning to Buxted, I first landed here nearly half my life ago, and in returning I notice that my steps are stiller, I am more able to trust the one I am in and know that if I do this, the next will take care of itself …