Not a ripple on the surface…

I am sitting in a cafe surrounded by many Spaniards who have been doing a marathon mountain walk – much chat has been engaged in about me wearing no shoes…! My Spanish conversation may end up a tad limited I fear – I have become the master at explaining my love of being barefoot – and know all the vocabulary associated…

 I also fear that on day one of being alone in the mountains I am becoming a cartoon television addict… I enjoyed a very pleasant Saturday morning eating a chocolate biscuit in front of Pepper Pig in Español – I felt like I was about eight years old waiting for my parents to wake up!
Not that my childhood had morning TV, I’m from the era when the ‘test card’ was on the screen in the absence of any entertainment… But I have seen it in other families over the years…. And so it felt like I was living it out now myself, at fifty eight instead of eight…
I have also been listening to loads of Spanish interviews on YouTube, and have the radio on a canal de musica clasica in the car, because on other channels, I’ve discovered that the songs are mainly in Ingles which stops my flow…
The deeper my immersion goes, the more I see I have a very long road ahead… But I am enjoying this new uncharted road and I am happy for it to go on forever and ever….
It might need to!
 My only conversations today have been Spanish ones and both about my feet…
And one now to order coffee… Hardly a conversation.
Otherwise I am silent – I have once again dropped into another film set – another land where the plot is already in action, and I am appearing as an extra in the scenes.
It’s times like this with no reference point where we can explore the sense of nothing ness and a self without definition…
Time alone feels a valuable thing to experience as it is only by truly being able to be alone that we can be with others – truly be with them – present, whole – asking nothing, demanding nothing, expecting nothing – simply honouring the space between the connection and sharing ourselves…
True love is when we have no reaction ever that separates us from our fellow human beings… This doesn’t mean we don’t experience feelings, but we are aware they are ours and we don’t project them outwards.
This takes practise… To simply clear every reaction within us – every shred of anxiety anger fear irritation hurt even as it arises – until nothing arises anymore…
There is not a ripple on the surface of the lake…
And this could take lifetimes… Which is why like learning Spanish, it doesn’t matter if it goes on forever; what matters is that we keep going along the path…
Because while we are healing of course we get hurt and we hurt others … But it is ironically their pain we are touching when we hurt another – and our pain that is being touched, which precipitates a hurtful word or action…
Which is why inner silence and deep self love is our biggest responsibility – to heal our own wounds, clear the emotional baggage, so that we are not defensive or critical of another when we feel wronged or hurt – and end up re wounding them…
Simple in theory… But as complex as our deepest wound…
This morning I rose late… A room with wooden slats meant 10 hours in bed – bliss – a catch up after a week of less sleep and so after watching Pepper Pig I walked out one October morning into the mountains… The end of my recovery easy week of training…
I padded along the ouchie path in my new FYF paws – enjoying the still silent power and magnitude of my mountain home

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