Finding my way in the mist…

I am sitting on a balcony, my view is a wall with clambering greenery, small white flowers, large red ones; three cats play together on the top of the wall… Chasing one another, watching, jumping, balancing…

Beyond the wall a vast expanse of sea…. The atlantic ocean…. A beach that seems endless…. It is very misty, this is unusual we have been told; but the mist has swirled about all day, cloaking the people, the camels, the horses in smoky mysterious silver.

I left Anadi working, and went to run along my endless beach. I ran and ran and after awhile left behind me the people and the camels and I was alone. The sand under my bare feet, the sun a watery presence but still hot; browning my skin despite…

Ahead of me I could see the form of three horses, a beautiful image… I caught them up and the riders waved as I ran past…

I heard a roaring sound which was getting closer. If I were an alien or a rabbit I believe I might have been very afraid!  This huge empty beach, my vision limited by the foggy blanket around me.

Then four quad bikes emerged, fast, flying along things, fun, speed, freedom…

I reached some rocks with seaweed on them, slippery green, a man was fishing. I had been gone for over and hour and so I turned for home.

I felt I could run on this beach for ever; that I had found my vocation… To run and never stop, alone, free, on a sandy beach with the sound of the ocean beside me.

The mist closed in and I was completely lost… A silver light pierced through; I was disoriented and alone and I wondered if this might be like dying; letting go, acknowledging my aloneness as all I knew had disappeared… Except for the sound of the ocean, to my left.

Follow the sound and it will bring you back to the beginning….

To know how to be fully alone, is the place from which we can experience true connection with another, with all others. To be connected deeply within to the aloneness is to be complete; full up with ourselves and so in a position to truly give.

Otherwise all our giving could be false; from a sense of fear of being alone, or obligation, or some need for connection we believe we will find outside ourselves.

Instead the more we are able to be alone and connected to our true self at the deepest level; all outer connection reflects this in mysterious wonderful exciting loving delightful ways…

I missed the entrance from the road, where I had joined the beach – the mist still lying thickly all around – and I ran on further…

And then I experienced joys of the modern world we live in… Right beside our transience, our spirit flying free, exists a space for communication in each moment, here with the whole world…

“I think I have missed our part of the beach, I think I ran right back past it in the mist! Do you want to meet for a drink? I will find my way back….’ I texted Anadi…

And I did… I found my way back.

We are all finding our way back, to ourselves, to the ease that exists deep within us.

To freedom…

Anadi and I enjoyed a banana milk shake, water and a coffee, watching the antics of a horse who had escaped its owner and was playing, running, cantering free on the beach.

He was being playful, never made a bid to bolt, along this long endless beach… He just whirled and swirled and trotted and played and eventually returned home…