Lighter in spirit…

I am writing in Teide restaurant, having a working dinner…

Teide has served as both my office and my second home while I have been here, especially with no and slow internet and stormy weather…

I enjoy being in the warmth, with chatter in the background, and I feel part of a place that I am passing through… I can feel the experiences, the things they care about, through the interest of those who are my neighbours for now…

And in this space, a community so small – the busy restaurant central to the village – I feel private yet supported and embraced…

And the night is young in Espana, 20.50… Lots of time to write, to upload a vlog and to eat my cenar

Maggie and Jack and I enjoyed an impromptu ‘board meeting’ over a glass of wine/ carrot and apple juice in my case, in the bar before I moved here to my office in the corner of the dining room…

They are my route planners and plotters extraordinaire for when I run Barefoot across Spain next spring, and we were discussing finer details now the route is firmly ‘set in stone’, with a backdrop of a television broadcasting the Catalan crisis… Worlds within worlds within worlds…

I have ordered a tropical salad – which although delicious – feels slightly incongruous with the wintery feel to the evening.

The days are hot hot hot, but night fall brings about the true character of the month, and tonight I know it is October living out its transition, craggy, brown, under a golden orange sunset….

I rose with the sun again this morning, and headed to the mountain path as soon as there was sufficient light… The golden sharp rays bathing the still sleeping village, reflecting its shafts of translucent power onto street lights, which twinkled their response… A shadowy dawn was easing itself over the mountains and I made my way in my socks to the path which challenges my feet still under the running step.

But I jogged along easily and allowed my body its resistance… ‘This is hard’ it cried to me… ‘It just feels hard’ and so I allowed the body to go slowly, so that we might all take in the joyous rising of the new day. So that the feeling of pushing back against  the sense of unrelenting toughness could ease and we could all find our way through…

For this is how we might find our way through hard times… Firstly ease away any resistance to what is occurring… Instead feel it , this will melt it. Take the foot off the push pedal, ease back the throttle but keep moving, keep treading on the path that is opening up before us…

Keep taking that small next step and trust that ‘this too will pass’…. And then by allowing whatever is going on, to be going on, by trusting that in the living of it, it will pass… The understanding will come, the sloughing off of the old will occur, and we will emerge stepping into the new, clearer cleaner, freer….

My time here has been so rich with experience, connection , love and friendship… With Maggie and Jack, Maricarmen, Angela, Wends Tony and Alfie, as well as all my friends in Bubion and Almunecar…

And it has also been hard, my body more fragile… But in allowing the days their flow, allowing my body its frailer state… By experiencing what has arisen I feel different…

Lighter in spirit.

On one occasion i was coughing so hard that I couldn’t breathe and I watched the distress in my body, but I was unafraid and the clearing was able to happen… And then on another occasion, stuck half way up and half way down a steep flight of uneven narrow mountain steps I felt extreme fear and  found another place of clearing, of a need to let go, to go deeper…

Any fractures within us, will always reveal themselves if we are prepared to open to them. I created these three weeks, and the gifts within them have been more immense than I could have imagined.

And I am sitting in a bar where the news is pre occupied with a fracture in the country, people are concerned and distressed not aware that their distress is a projection onto the ‘drama’ of their own inner unrest, their own fractures.

If we seek always to notice where we are in pain, disjointed, hurt, fractured within, and seek not to resist what is arising then we will find the road leads eventually to ease and freedom within and without…

This vlog is a short guide to Barefoot Running!

You’ve got a friend

Today I feel that seeing the sun rise and watching it set, is purpose enough on planet earth; in fact the very act of simply watching the earth’s journey around the sun again and again lends itself to standing still and being in the circle of light, the circle of life…

Today I set off to run in the dark and felt the rising excitement of seeing the orange ball heralding a brand new day, pop into view – and then tonight almost exactly 12 hours later I set off again and watching its powerful energy disappearing from view…

But the sun knows how to herald its arrival and its coming in such glorious style…  And to be silent within ourselves and in its embrace is all that is required…

Although tonight I had a moment or so of not being quite so silent, there was a big ripple deep from the depths of the lake!  I was gripped in fear… As I have run up and down the mountain, I have seen steps beside a great big water pipe and I had made a note to myself to investigate… So tonight was the night…

The first stretch were uneven and quite steep but they had a wire handle to grab onto, at the top I reached the mountain path and looked up to see many many more stretching to the sky… I wondered what would be at the top…

I never found out!

As I was making my way up and up, the higher I got the more precarious it felt, so I was climbing on all fours…

Then I started to feel a bit shaky and made the mistake of looking up, and then down… I felt the rush of immobilising fear in my body…

So I sat on a step and breathed deeply!

It was very very steep, but I did know I wasn’t in real danger… I knew that I was having fear arise, so that I might  clear it from my body… Fear from past lives, from an old experience in another life of falling to my death… From a deeply primal survival instinct that was over active and so accessed fear inside me…

Who knows…? But I did know it needed to be released and had arisen for this purpose… I sat for awhile and then as I was ‘mid vlog’ decided to report in… !

The very act of speaking with my ‘fans slash friends’ on youtube, even though they would not see it until tomorrow was very helpful indeed… The power of us connecting, supporting one another, joining together.

We are all always there, all of the time, we just need to tune in, and through chatting to my iphone (!) I was able to tune in and connect with the loving group energy…

We are always there, all of us, all of the time… And it is in recognising that it doesn’t have to be one specific person – as this can limit the expansiveness of energy, of love and the resources we have within us which is a reflection of the collective whole.

In the end, I went down slowly slowly slowly on my bottom! A step at a time and of course reached terra firma again…!

These words from the song ‘You’ve got a friend’, feel relevant to me, and as yet I haven’t spoken to a soul since being scared up some steep steps on the side of a mountain…

‘You just call out my name, and you know wherever I am
I’ll come running, oh yes I will, see you again
Winter, spring, summer, or fall,
All you got to do is call and I’ll be there,
Yes I will, you’ve got a friend…’

When we feel in need of support, of love , of a friend… All we need do is open up our hearts and know the truth

We’ve got a friend, always within us, at the deepest level, we have our resources which are a reflection of us all, a reflection of love…

Let go of fear and fly free…

Since returning from Lanzarote, after my magical week with my sister Rosy, I have not found a blogging moment…

My days have been spent engaged with Kathy and Haze on their retreats here in Spain, and my other clients on Skype too…

But today my day is stretching ahead with no sessions until 5 pm. Anadi is programming away indoors – he can’t see his screen outside… And I am sitting in the square in the sun.

Total bliss.

Years ago I went to Spain for a month alone, an almost silent retreat, in part due then to my extremely limited Spanish…!

I remember sitting outside in the sun, drinking a cup of café con leche one day, and experiencing a feeling of total happiness, pure joy… I wrote about it in a postcard to my friend Wendy which she still has. In it I said to her that I was living my dream life, running and writing in the sun.

Fourteen years years later and I am almost fully live that life, as a permanent way of life.

Sometimes it takes time to clear away anything that is in the way of us fully treading the path our inner voice leads us to, maybe obligation or fear or outdated beliefs about what we should or shouldn’t do, can get in the way…When in truth all we must do is keep trusting our inner guidance, clearing away any single feeling of tension, or grief, or sadness or frustration or fear…

Ahhh fear…

At the very core of most humans is fear, this is not surprising given we live in a body which needs to survive… But within this fear often there has come about a forgetting of our true nature.

As well as forgetting that we are all one, that we are all born of consciousness /god/love… When we remember this, it becomes far easier to let go, to trust, and to always release anything that arises from within in the way of judgement, blame, reactivity drowning out our inner silence.

For when we clear away the stress within, we will find that from the silence the path opens and reveals itself.

Today Anadi and I ran along the coastline with the sun rising, a shining ball of glorious light above the sea.We reached a beach at the end of the road, ran down to the rocks, scrambled over them to another beach. We ran along the edge of the surf and then picked our way up a rocky path…

Running in my bare feet has brought me more deeply in touch with myself at a translucent soul level, as well as grounding me on planet earth. I have a closer relationship with my feet and my body, and I notice that as my feet are strengthening, my running action of the young me is returning

I feel like I am flying on land, more free, more me…

Such a joy, to be…

The sun is shining brightly and Angela and I have spent a day outside. We met as the sun was rising above the sea at 8.15 am, and then walked along the beach and up the dry river bed which apparently goes all the way to Granada, and which was very wet in patches at the beginning!

But we leapt over the streams and soon we’re heading up into the hills, the path went on and on and I couldn’t find the promised loop…! So eventually we turned for home and finished on the beach where we sat facing the sun, chanted together with the sound of the waves our music.

Such joy, to be, to simply be in nature and to clear away any tension within, the chants vibrating through our body with the sun on our skin.

Only yesterday Anadi and I left Buxted Park early in the morning.

We had such a wonderful time there, it is like visiting family, we are embraced and welcomed home…
Rob knows what Anadi has for breakfast better than I do… As we discovered when we did a secret ‘Mr and Mrs ‘ test… Rob and I compared ‘whispered notes’ at the breakfast table as to what he would choose…
Rob got it right!

And then we sped to Gatwick, and Anadi dropped me off at the North Terminal…

We won’t meet again now for five whole weeks! It suddenly seemed a long time – too long – when we spent the evening together chatting over dinner on Wednesday.
But we are both good at living in the moment, and I so crossed the road to the terminal building… We waved and waved and then I was on the way to my new adventure and Anadi to his…

It was brilliant to find Ange in ‘departures’, and we had a lovely breakfast before boarding the plane for Spain…

As we were coming into land, we had got within a very short distance of touching down, when suddenly the pilot pulled the plane back up into take off mode again.

We climbed again up up up into the sky. Ange looked afraid, and I instantly re assured her, not at that moment feeling any fear…
The air steward announced that we would be communicated with by the pilot soon and that in so many words ‘not to worry…’

We started to head over the sea and then I got a feeling of fear down in my lower chakras…
And started to prepare to die by clearing the fear.

My intention for when I die is to let go and leave my body without tension or fear, and as we headed over the sea, neither Ange or I were sure if it meant something was wrong with the plane.
I thought that if this were the case, then the pilot wouldn’t crash land on land, but over the sea…

I said to Ange ‘at this point I prepare for death’ and we talked about what was going on for us both, as the captain remained silent…

And then he spoke…

As he came into land the aeroplane, it was apparent that it wasn’t safe as we were too near another aircraft and so he had to take off and fly around about until the ‘coast was clear’….

For Ange and I it had been a good ‘process’!
The start of our few days together of clearing and healing….
‘Julia’s people are everywhere’ Ange laughed….

Meaning that I had set that up as a workshop! (Ha ha!) We have a ‘joke’ that anytime a situation ‘triggers’ a reaction within, that I have set it up – and that I have ‘my people’ everywhere running ‘workshops’ for the benefit of helping others to clear all the pain and blocked energy from within.

This orientation can help to welcome reactivity as having come up for healing, rather than wishing it wasn’t there…!

And in truth the fear ignited within Ange and m by the thought of the possibility that the planes under carriage might be stuck (!) was a healing workshop for us both…!

And in ten minutes we had landed in sunny Spain, Marcus was there to meet us with our hire car and a hour later we were eating lunch on the terrace of Casablanca hotel in Almuñécar.