The best course is to remain silent….

I enjoy writing in coffee shops; it was always my dream in the past to spend my time in cafes writing all day. In fact it was a dream I live out a lot… Writing anonymously with folk around me.

Anadi likes to work in silence, I believe the work of a computer programmer needs a more rarified environment, but still it remains that we are all different.

He will happily work for many hours in solitude, whereas although I am very happy alone; I also love to be around other beings.

I realised this delicate balance was essential to my own energetic make up and my well being, after I moved to Bath when I was 22 years old and discovered culture, coffee and countryside all in one place ?

My dream environment.

We are all different, we all have a different energetic resonance made up over lifetimes and lifetimes, and this is the meaning I take from Ramana Maharshi when he speaks of remaining silent…

“Whatever is destined not to happen will not happen, try as you may. Whatever is destined to happen will happen, do what you may to prevent it. This is certain. The best course, therefore, is to remain silent.”

I don’t read the words about ‘destiny’ in any sort of predictive way, as there is no future; nor a past – there is only now. All that is being played out is happening now, and so the more we find the silence within us and access this place, then all we need ‘do’ is simply that, relax, be silent, and allow it all to unfold now…

The challenges and the triumphs, the sadnesses and the celebrations, because they are all part of our journey here and it can’t be any other way than it is… The rich tapestry where little by little we clear away the illusion and instead of ‘living it all out’ unconsciously, we get a glimmer of awareness of our true nature from which we all are born…

And of course the paradox we live in, is that we are all one, we are part of the whole. We are all born of love, of god of consciousness and yet to experience ourselves we live as separate entities in a frame work of time, which does appear to have a very evident past, present and a future!

Even more reason to remain silent…

When I reflect on my past – that never happened…! I can see now that the Olympic dreams I had were never going to happen… It’s never a case when reviewing our life to get stuck in a story of… ‘If this had happened… Or this person hadn’t done that or another person had done this….’  Then things would have been different…

It is what it is…

Of course, to clear the emotional baggage that we are carrying, it can be a very useful process to go into the story of our life; but then comes the place of realisation…

That it was always going to be this way… And once again we come to see that we live life forwards into a future that doesn’t exist, and learn about ourselves backwards about a past that never happened ….

And the best course, therefore, is to remain silent….

Success is fun; Fun is success…

Anadi and I have just been sitting in the sun in a little square… We have taken to having lunch at about 4.30; the time has crept later and later.

Today the food we ate felt like there was a magic ingredient within it.

While we waited for it to be prepared we sipped from a glass full to the brim with fresh mint and hot water… We added a sugar lump, for a little bit of ‘je ne sais quoi…’

We sat in the sunshiny timelessness of our life ; in a land that is now familiar and yet we are just passing through; travellers on the path of life.

We were brought two bowls full of couscous, laden on top with goodness… I had the one with just vegetables, seven of them, shining with oil and spices and herbs. It was like we were being brought an elixir. The man who served us was unsmiling until the very end, when he overheard Anadi saying to me…

‘That was such good food…’ He responded ‘Thank you’, in English. Not one person in the little restaurant had given any indication they understood one word of English, and my French had found new levels!

The energy in the food was tangible; Our sensitivity is even greater the more we travel and change and shed… We find that as we journey we have let go of so much more than just our possessions; and this is continuing… Ever since we started out together, there has been more and more stripping away…

One of the biggest things that I have stripped away more fully in the last five years than ever before, is the fear of being told I am ‘wrong’… It has seemingly just vanished!

Of course, there were hundreds of years – I imagine lifetimes – of living the energy out royally… And another few hundred or thousand of trying to ‘work it out’ and free myself…!

I have a sense that I was vilified for speaking out my truth, and so I came into this lifetime with that energy well and truly entrenched…

In my first attempts to free myself, I set out to do the exact opposite of what was asked of me by authority figures… Instead of setting me free, this meant I became used to hearing that I was ‘wrong’… But my spirit fought on!

And now, some fifty years later,  the sense is simply that ‘poof’ – it has vanished as easy as that 🙂

The other thing that has ‘gone’ completely is any ‘holding back’ from success’… Oh my goodness me, the hours of work in therapy I spent exploring this ‘issue’… I would see it come around and around; and as Ros my therapist reminded me… What I perceived as ‘success’ – when it happened –  was never much fun for me, fraught it seemed with pressure and expectation, and still a pervading sense that it wasn’t enough.

And I wanted to have fun!

In simple terms the messages I received in childhood – from different but equally influential sources – were contradictory to me….

Success in life is important….

Having fun in life is important…

They didn’t seem to be two things that I could easily put together…. Of course, my life had fun and success in it; but neither to the level I felt were within my energetic remit, and they seemed at odds with each other… !

However, energy can get stuck – as we know it can never be destroyed – and so it isn’t uncommon for the same things to happen again and again and again. To transform (make a through or dramatic change in the character of the energy) and transmute (change in form nature or substance) energy takes big work to shift it all about.

It is possible  to have a sense we could do, be or have more – and yet find that we keep going around and around the same old loop; feeling frustrated and disappointed in ourselves and in ‘life’ and others…

Because change happens from the inside out, it takes us truly being able to see how our energy is playing out, how we are living it out, to be in a position to start the inner work to shift it about – so that we can create a life that we dream of.

But all of this is possible, I have seen this in my own life.

Fun and success are not separate entities… In fact if I’m not having fun at whatever I am engaged in; then this in itself means I am not succeeding…!

I can see the evidence in the changes around me as I embrace this new chapter in my life… Where there is no holding back, no sense of being wrong and it is all about having fun!

Any ‘success’ will be born out of the energy of fun! 🙂

Life is a special occasion…

Today is a very hot day, about 40 degrees… As we left the cool interior of the Riad on a ‘lunch mission’, it felt a bit like walking into an oven…

‘This is the highest temperature they use to cook the food at Nama’, I commented idly to Anadi as we wandered through the cobbled streets… Nama is a wonderful vegan restaurant in Notting Hill London, which is an absolute favourite choice of mine, and my goddaughter Pru for dining together… A place we visit for special occasions…

Although of course, life is a special occasion… So really and truly it is simply a fabulous place to meet up in.

I remember my father used to ‘restrict himself’ to only drinking alcohol at lunchtimes when it was a weekend, a Wednesday, or a special occasion…

It didn’t take much to create a special occasion, I recall… 🙂 My Dad enjoyed life and socialising with friends, creating an impromptu party at every opportunity…

Embracing life as a special occasion opens the doorway to acknowledging that every moment is special.

There is only this moment, so we might as well recognise the gift within it, the special quality, the sparkling jewel of this moment, here…

Within it, the possibility for clearing, for healing the past and creating the future, now.

This special occasion, this special moment called Life.

Another realisation I had as we wandered through the square, is just how many pairs of  (new) shoes I have given away over the years…. ‘Running’ shoes and ‘shoes for normal life’ shoes… I always found getting the ‘right’ shoes problematic…

The receivers of my many pairs of ‘not worn at all, or only once’ shoes will testify to this fact!

I had to discover that my route to comfortable feet was about letting go, rather than getting…

Letting go of my shoes… The perfect solution, which was there all the time…

This morning as I stretched under the trees near the square in the Medina, some young people came over… They were intrigued by me, my sportif, my bare feet… The young girl asked for one of the ties from my plaits; she then put her hair up and joined in with my exercises…

No language needed, our bodies moving under the shining  sun…

The moment shared…