Connection, Communication and Reflection…

I’m sitting on a stone bench in the sun – it is a sunny bright blue sky day.
It is 14.21 in the afternoon and I have no plan.
 
 I am liking being here in the sun…
 
 This morning I ran along to ‘the other end ‘ of Almuñecar – there are two ends and I ran to the Vellila end, where the road turns into a beach, and then by clambering over the rocks I reached another beach… I ran back and forth on the deserted sand for awhile before re tracing my steps to breakfast… A delicious feast of orange juice, coffee – toast with chopped tomatoes, drenched in olive oil – fresh mango and natural yogurt…
 
 I am enjoying the solitude and the sound of Spanish voices all around me.
 I am enjoying the sun and the sound of the waves as my constant music, and the wind in the trees.
 
 I am enjoying the feeling of having nothing to do and nowhere to go…
 Almuñecar has a few souls who ‘wander about’ throughout the day; they all recognise me now because I keep returning to run barefoot through their town…. And now I am sitting like them in the sun, whiling away the hours in silence, watching the world all around…
 
 
Which of course is simply our reflection in every moment.
 
 I was sitting in departures at Gatwick airport, the day before yesterday, opposite a man… I wondered what our connection might be… We were in the same space having a similar experience, and I wondered if we were to ‘press pause’ on the scene and investigate – then not only the man nearest to me, but all of us could have an opportunity to discover what it was linked us all, and reflected ourselves in that moment…
 
 It then happened that the man, me and three ladies, who had been sitting next to me, ended up chatting in the queue to board the plane…
 
 The man and I discovered we were a year apart in age, and that both of our fathers’ had worked on Sierra Leone, and that the two of us spent some of our younger years there… We also found  that he was also journeying to Almuñecar like I was, and is intent on creating a different type of lifestyle…
 
 
The three ladies – in this (rather slow) queue to get onto the plane – exclaimed as we started to venture outside; ‘aren’t your feet freezing cold?’
 
 We laughed and I told them about all the different type of reactions I receive to my naked feet…  ‘And sometimes people just stare and stare as if I am a ‘rare creature ‘ that they have never seen before…’ I explained…
 
 ‘Well you are,‘ one of the ladies laughed… ‘You are a rare creature…’ and then she continued… ‘In the nicest possible way!’
 
 
 
 
 
 
Vallilla… The ‘other end of Almuñecar. My morning run…
 

In celebration of love, life and enduring friendship…

I love our ‘Larder’ London experiences, when we land in Winchmore hill we take up residency in the ‘The Larder’… Coffee shop life is the life for me, especially after 11 miles of running on a cold December morning!

We turned up on Michael’s doorstep in the first week he opened, two and a half years ago, and when we are here I feel that I don’t want to ever leave…

But I recognise this as an essential part of my energy, in that it is at home wherever it is… When I am there, I don’t want to be here, and when I am here I don’t want to be there.

And the person I am with is the person I want to be with more than anyone in the world; I start to miss them the moment we part… But then time does its magic thing, and expands and stretches and I live other lives with other people… Until our own unique orbit comes around again – and then it becomes evident that there is no separation, no gaps; that the connection, the love the dialogue is ongoing and endless.

And all of this occurs by opening up the space within us, that is silent and endless and limitless and true love itself… For true love embraces all and everything – and there is no limit to its capacity.

And this experience can only be found through an inner journey, which often looks like an outer one, as we delve in and in and in, through our experiences and relationships here on planet earth. It is necessary to live this life to discover our source, from where we have all come.

But of course it is not for us to rush ourselves or others. There can be no rush in an opening or a blossoming; or a remembering or a reclaiming. We must live and experience and work it all out, not through the mind for this is not possible… We work things out by first living them out, and after awhile, maybe many, many, many lives we start to see patterns and possibilities of transformation – and then we start to work it out, as we remember who we truly are.

Last night I had a wonderful evening with my friend Debbie… We met 25 years ago and after a few years, we used to say that we would treat ourselves to dinner at the OXO tower when we had ‘made it’ … We didn’t particularly identify what ‘making it’ was…

Debs was an aspiring young business woman – she is very courageous, innovative and determined – one of her business ideas was on Dragon’s Den! And she is now unequivocally a successful business woman… So that felt reason enough… We rejoiced too in our friendship of 25 years – and celebrated that after quite some ‘research’ and ‘investigation’, done with the hope that we would discover how to be in relationship with a man, where we were happy and didn’t want to leave…

That here we are… Enjoying that experience…

And so we decided now was the time… !

What fun we had… Delicious dinner in the OXO tower and then walking along the Southbank, me in my bare feet with sparkly jewels on, the walk way full of people and energy; through Borough market – and then up to floor 52 at the top of the Shard to drink cocktails… Celebrating love and life and enduring friendship… In allegedly one of the most prestigious cocktail bars in London

We left as a Lamborghini and a red Ferrari drew up – people living out and working out lifetimes on planet earth in all sorts of fascinating and varied ways .

Feeling free and having fun….

I am sitting in the launderette watching our clothes whirl around in lots of bubbles and soapy suds.

I am having such fun, I arrived here to find a guy in bare feet doing his washing.

I went over to an empty machine, and was busy in the corner trying to make it work, but it wasn’t giving me a program to choose, and I was a bit confused and kept re reading the instructions to see if I had missed something…

The young man came over and told me the machine was broken, but that if I didn’t mind waiting his washing was finishing in 4 minutes…

We started to chat and I discovered that he is in the middle of a 3 month journey on his bike all alone. He has cycled from Belgium and he is following the coast around the edge of Spain covering 70 kilometres a day…

He doesn’t speak Spanish, but he says he doesn’t need to, he can say please and thank you and is able to get food – and he says he doesn’t need to speak much…

He has a tent with a cover for rain and a cover for mosquitos and in 7 weeks he has only used the mosquito net. He told me that he lies at night and looks at the stars, and he listens to the animals around him, and that he is free.

His name is Felix, he is 19 years old and has just finished his studies. He told me that his plan when he gets back to Belgium is to start work, and then keep travelling.

Felix told me that he likes being barefoot, I asked him what it is about it he enjoys….

He says he likes to feel the floor, and that it is fun.

He does have some shoes as he is covering many kilometers, but has also been cycling in flip flops for some of the time; he was joined by 4 Italian guys at one stage, who were incredulous at the guy cycling in flips flops…!

He told me too, how when he was at school he shed his shoes and that every student looked at him, and the head teacher ‘told him off…’

I have invited him to come and find us in Spain next year and join me for some barefoot running – He might well appear…

‘It’s fun’ of course struck a chord with me… ‘Have fun darling’ was the legacy my mother left me; and I am certainly doing that, even or especially in the launderette!

This morning when I was running around the park alone, I had a feeling of immense freedom. I was aware that over the past few years there has been a deeper surrendering to giving myself permission to run and have fun.

I have always done both things of course…

But there were often threads of oughts and shoulds , or ought nots and should nots pulling me back or pushing me in directions I might not wish to go.

Felix talked about feeling free, and about having fun.

It is no coincidence that we met today.

With many earth years between us, our energy still reflects lifetimes of finding out what freedom truly means… And we meet here, in a launderette in Spain, both of us here experimenting and experiencing on planet earth within the confines of a body and the beliefs and structures of others…

How to be free, and how to have fun….

 

Tranquility reflected in the blue sky…

The hotel breakfast had all manner of colourful juices, a green one, a pink one, and and orange one. I love healthy juices. I am easily pleased…

A run in a sunny park, with bright blue skies, tranquility in the centre of a city at rush hour, and then home to colourful juices; what more could anyone want?

Bright vibrant healthy juices, sunny skies and running have always been the ingredients of happiness for me; but I learnt really early that they couldn’t ‘make me happy’…. If life was feeling hard and painful, and the struggle was deep inside, then no amount of colourful juices or sunny skies – or even running – could change the state. They might ease it; a run could ease tension, a cup of coffee too…

How ever did I miss coffee out from the list?!

But they could not take the struggle completely away. When I was younger and my inner life felt harder, I remember going away to visit bright blue skies for maybe a week or two – or three – and seeing the cloud lift within me… I was able watch myself step more into the flow, I could glimpse the possibility of a life with more ease… But then I would return home, and pick the bags of heaviness up again and carry them with me. Even though I knew that they affected everything at some subtle level.

And this is the weight of our pain, our tension, our unresolved hurt; it is a heavy burden within us, which we can get all too familiar with… But, through being willing to notice and surrender the tension; make the clearing of the pain more important than anything else, brings the reward of the bright blue skies clearing above us, nothing to blot the clarity, the tranquility of the expanse within us reflected in an empty blue sky.

When we watch birds that fly circling around, and see gathering clouds, scudding white or deep and dark; they represent the clutter the noise, the distraction within us…

But always beyond all that we see when we look upwards – there is the clarity, the expanse, the endless stretch into infinity behind it, and sometimes the emptiness is there, and we experience the still small voice of calm…

This is the ultimate meditation to see the gaps in the thoughts, the birds and the clouds and the planes are our thoughts; between them is stillness…

Life a meditation.

The run in the park was a delight, I love the running rhythm that can be found all over the world.

Even as far back as 1987 when I ran the New York marathon, I was there a week before the race and each day I would run to Central Park and circle the lake with hundreds of other runners – more than usual I suspect as it was marathon week – but still the same rhythm… Round and round, one foot in front of the other, simplicity.

Simplicity is an inner state, like tranquility. Life can be full of interesting projects and communication and connections to all manner of exciting ness. But if there is tranquility at the centre, like the park here right in a quiet space in the centre of the City, then the possibility of expansion from the still point within is as vast as the clear blue sky above us.

Running Crazy in Valencia…

Anadi and I have just wandered back bathed in blue from above; such a vivid azul that the sky feels touchable, so bright and clear and expansive…

Today we rose rather early as the race start was at 8.30am, and even two days back in the UK had adjusted my body clock somewhat, so it was like a 7.30am start… Early, but fun.

We met with Malcolm in the foyer of the hotel and he guided us to the race start. It is one of the things I love about Running Crazy trips; no planning or finding out needed. Malcolm does it all for us…

And so we made our way with the crowds over the bridge to where the throng of people were gathering… So many people, but I liked it.

I notice so much has changed within me over time. I didn’t used to like standing in a huge crowd; and there was always a vestige of anxiety about the possibility of tripping and falling amongst so many runners all tearing off at once.

We had to be in our pen, 20 minutes before the start, quite a long time to be huddled together…

But I was very relaxed, the sun shone. I enjoyed the music of the Spanish language all around me, and the time till the gun went flew by.

The race itself was a delight. I was glad of my Skinner’s socks as it meant I could concentrate on running fast, without being slowed by any of the metal bits across the road, ouchie stretches or cobbled parts. I was able to just run…

I felt amazing. The pace was comfortable and I crossed the line in 44.31 – and I ran a very unusual way for me; the second 5k was almost 30 seconds faster than the first. I am usually the other way round!

It highlights that long slow distance is a good way of training my body. I have averaged 48 miles a week for 20 weeks and have hardly done any interval training; and the times I have thrown a bit in, have certainly not been at the pace I ran today!

Many of my barefoot miles are very slow distance indeed, as I walk the ouchie bits and only run faster on clear stretches of beach or grass or really flat road.

Anadi and I were chatting about my result as we walked back from the race finish. ‘It’s because you’ve cleared the tension’, he said, ‘it’s created the space for the run to just come out of you…’

And it has. I keep saying that since shedding my shoes, it feels like I have a whole new running career ahead of me; I feel as if the past is nothing to do with me. It is a story I can tell if I am asked, but it has no hold.

The story of our life can be a heavy weight, especially the longer we have been here! But although I can remember it, it feels as if I am shedding everything that I ever associated as  me and in its place is limitless possibility, freedom of expression and love of the moment, my fellow human being, the friends I make at every turn, and carrot cake and coffee! ?

Anadi and I are going to jog around the park now in the late afternoon sun, and take in the energy of this beautiful City. I get to know a place by running it, being in it, breathing it and feeling it.

Today I ran through the history of it; I am not a natural site seer, but I love to be in a place, merge into the energy and experience the place I have landed in.

And what better way than running through it with thousands of other human beings; doing what we love; being in the step!

 

The road less travelled…

I like my Hilton home; It is very comfortable indeed. I love my 24 hour  gym, right on my doorstep. I love feeling warm all the time, the deep hot bath, and the huge bed with clean sheets.

It feels almost like my ‘checking in’ point; where Anadi and I return to get further instructions (mail) and new clothes, vitamin pills, (parcels) anything that might be needed for our next mission

We are given warmth and comfort, and food in any many of restaurants to choose from in the airport, and the hotel itself… And then off we go for our next adventure!

Given that we are often in sunny climes, this might all appear rather strange… But as we tend to like warm countries out of season, where the evenings and nights are colder, and the buildings are not really set up for cold… They are more designed to keep cool in extreme heat.

There is something about the nomadic life for me that lends itself to always being open, never the opportunity to sink into any illusion…

When I was running today, I reflected on how running training – or any practising – is the absolute metaphor for the path disappearing behind us; and reminds that we make our path in life by walking it.

When a musician stands on stage and performs in an awe inspiring way, we do not see him or her trail onto stage with them, the hours and hours and hours of practise; all of that has vanished like the wake that the boat leaves, which vanishes – and the musician stands transparent on the stage.

Yesterday I added up the miles I had run over the past 20 weeks – because I have recorded them each day I was able to do this – to discover that for 20 weeks I have averaged 48 miles of barefoot running a week… All of it has vanished, but through running the path, it has revealed itself to me in the form of increased fitness, and new directions…

Along the way, ‘Barefoot Across Spain’ emerged as my bare steps became stronger and more and more adventurous…

I am on the train to Lewes, it is a sparkling bright sunny November day…. I recognise glorious Sussex and the many happy years I spent here, the Downs flash by, sun glinting through the orange brown golden trees; how I love this land… How I treasure the miles I covered on those green hills; the path I made by running them has brought me here and I cannot turn back, nor do I desire to; i treasure the road of of my life unfolding

Later…

I have just spent a wonderful time in Lewes… It is a town I know so well – I have spent a lot of time in coffee shops there right back from the late 80’s when I first moved to the area…

I can remember Bill’s restaurant when it was a small fruit and veg shop with a few tables for wonderful coffee and cake; we watched it expand, my friends and I, when we met there over the weeks months and years – to a much bigger coffee shop and now of course Bill’s can be found in towns all over Britain…

Going back to the same place and seeing the changes is an interesting experience. I know the streets and I know the feel of the place; some of it is unchanged, some of it is expanding, growing, developing…

but I was aware of a newness, as if I was there for the first time. New – yet the same – a huge history of time spent and yet only the moment.

I spent a wonderful lunch time with Kathy and then coffee with Ange… Two people who I met at almost the same time…

Many years ago – almost twenty – here we are with all those shared years and we meet now, all joining in a project – Barefoot Across Spain…!

The fact that I am barefoot now seems entirely natural to us all… I arrived at Lewes Station in my sparkling jangley barefoot sandals given to me by my friend Fi- on a bright crisp, quite cold November day… Kathy scooped me up and admired by sparkly feet and whisked me to lunch in Pelham house, a beautiful refined hotel, delightful delicious dining…

Kathy is the chair of Friends of Sussex Hospices and over the years I have witnessed the amazing work she has done; but also the fun she has generated in the projects and her heart… Her heart has been at the centre of all she does, and I am delighted to be sharing in a project with her…  And my bare feet lead the way!

I now have no discomfort within me now when I wander the land barefoot; it is the path I am treading and it is opening huge vistas of untrod lands to me, and meeting with Kathy and Ange highlighted the friendship and love I am receiving on my road less travelled…

Ange and I have been meeting in the Real Eating Company for the past 15 years… We have a tradition of eating almond croissant with our coffee… It is part of our meet up – and I have not discovered almond croissants to compare outside the UK – yet!

But I enjoy it as something I do in the UK and always with Ange – like the tostadas y aceite are a part of what I do in Spain.

Food and connection to the land we are in, to the people there and to each other, is one of the joyous ways we humans connect and share and have fun!

Eating and drinking, loving and laughing together all over the world.

 

Journey with Julia

As I drove away from the mountains, just as in the poem I wrote about yesterday, the last three weeks disappeared in the ‘wake’ of my new pathways unfolding…. I drove away and the preceding weeks were gone…

And the place, the people… It is as if they no longer exist because I am gone. We create everything around us from our energy – all that exists is here, it is now…

There is no past, no future… Only now. So it follows that all that exists is what we are experiencing around us now…

If we try to hold on to the past, or create a future that doesn’t exist, we are bound to live in tension… Whereas when we allow an unfolding, everything flows.

Of course this doesn’t mean not making a plan, to meet someone to have an experience. We can create the future in the moment we are in.

But we can’t live it, until we are in it.

And then any plan we might make, arises almost as if of itself …

I am changed by my time in the mountains – but the weeks have disappeared and will never be found again. Instead in front of me I keep making the path by walking it.

It was a fiesta day in Spain yesterday; they happen often. I like it… Everything stops and much feasting happens… All day long.

Big groups of people gather together, they sit outside in the sun, and talk and laugh and eat lots of food… And I watch, passing through this land which I love and feel I am a part of, but in a different way to those who are of it…

Maricarmen, my Spanish teacher, asked me yesterday if I would like to be interviewed by the paper in Orgiva, the biggest town on the mountain road near Bubion and Pitres… Many have noticed me running and walking in my bare feet… I am being embraced by the Spanish people, ‘Como una cabra, like the goats that I love in the mountains, I am being associated with them too…

I arrived in Almuñecar and made my way through the tables full of celebratory folk… I put my running kit on and prepared to go for my second run of the day…

In the morning I ran along my mountain road for the last time, at least for awhile… And tonight the land I ran on was different, warm balmy evening sun… People sitting about enjoying the day off; a man practicing his tight rope skills on the beach…

Two boys jogged along talking, a little bit ahead of me… We were running at a similar pace, and I received the positive energy of a shared run.

All my runs have been lone for some weeks now, and although this is never a problem for me, I enjoyed their vicarious company…

I’m now on the plane… I’ve slept a little and just experienced that moment of total nothing… The place between sleeping and waking and I had no idea at all where I was, who I was…

My lifestyle lends itself to those moments, those gifts or total space. I experience them every so often. This one was pure white, the other day it was golden. I could see the colour but I didn’t know anything about anything. No sense of my ‘self’ or being even in a body.

They are fleeting; but to be treasured I feel, a glimpse into the space of total no thing…

I am hungry! It’s now 12.45pm and my day hasn’t opened up any food opportunities!

I had left plenty of time to get to the airport, because I love airport fun… But the path that opened in front of me was a different one.

I wasn’t sure I could remember where the gasolinera was to get petrol to fill the car, but the signs were perfect… I found my way, filled the car up with petrol, and then followed the signs back to the airport… I thought.

Instead, I found myself sailing past my destination and back along the road I had just driven down…!

I knew I needed to get off it, so took the first opportunity, which lead me right slap bang into the streets and traffic with no sign of any way back to the airport… Thank goodness for technology…

Madeline of google maps directed me back – albeit with the time for my pre flight breakfast and coffee ticking away.

At the airport, Marcus my nice car man wasn’t there… I rang the office and she assured me that he was, and that she would call him so that we could find one another…

I waited… After awhile I decided that calling again would be a good plan… He was 10 minutes away could I wait…?

Not really!

She said to leave the key in the boot, and leave the car unlocked … I carried out instructions and made my way through the whole airport system, and onto the plane, with no window for a food stop…

Easyjet porridge is feeling very appealing….

 

 

 

Fellow travellers on the path…

I am back in my little white house on the side of the mountain, where the router is deemed no more – Maggie came round to pronounce this, it seems that the lightening struck it and that was that…

I have also lost my pinhole glasses somewhere… But I am reckoning my eyes will simply have to up their game…

I ran along the seafront again as the sun rose… Sunrise and sunset light are very special for me in Almuñecar…

Last night Ange and I sat on the beach with the sky lit by what seemed to be a huge orange lamp – and this morning I ran towards a pink glow of soft light which bathed me in its smooth balm, as I turned at the end of the prom to make my way to a final breakfast with Ange before she headed to the aeropuerta…

I waved her goodbye until she was out of sight and set off back up back up to the mountains.

On the way I saw a young couple hitch hiking on the main road… I enjoy picking up people who are thumbing a lift, but as always I make my decision whether to do so or not in an instant flash…

They were holding a sign which said Orgiva – it is the biggest town on the winding mountain road – but when they had clambered in they said they were making their way further up the mountain to explore the Beneficio commune… I drove them as near as possible, before needing to drive on for Español at 12…

Beneficio is place where people go to live without any electricity or any type of comforts of modern day living… The drinking water supply is from the mountain spring and then the secondary supply is from a stream… They have compost toilet facilities and alcohol and drugs are prohibited … The accommodation is mostly light shelter like tents, but there have been some more permanent structures built included straw bale constructions…

The young couple were from Poland and were just three weeks into their travelling adventure…

We were talking about Beneficio and as the young guy said, they have no internet of course, but everyone knows about them because of the internet!

I enjoyed picking up my young fellow travellers on the path.

They didn’t appear to think that being a nomad or not owning any shoes was at all strange and we chatted easily as I sped them round the hairpin twist and turns that is mountain driving…

And they were so young; 20 years and 18 years… The older I get the more time feels to be immediate, I’ve been here for 40 more years than they have and yet I felt connected to their adventurous courageous spirits immediately – and we were for 30 minutes contemporaries, the only difference is that I have had more time to go around and around to learn what I already knew deep in my soul at their age…

That we must trust ourselves, that we must follow our own path… Even if it is the road less travelled; that we must have fun and that we must recognize ourselves in each other…

Namaste I honour the spirit in you that is the spirit in me.

The extra forty years I have been treading this earth plane felt but a moment in time as I journeyed with my new young friends, the three of us immediately and fully engaged in the here and now…

 

Rediscovering our lightness…

I drove down from my mountain retreat to sunny Malaga airport… It was like driving to another land…

The sun shone bright orange warm… I parked my car and raced to arrivals as my friend Ange’s plane landed… And then there she was, having arrived in another place, so far away from an England now in so many ways, a landscape and climate so different as storm Brian started to make the announcement of his arrival in the UK …

We chatted as we drove along the open road, towards a vista of mountains, blue sky and sun… Before we knew it Almuñecar welcomed us into her now familiar bosom, enclosing us both in Friday night Spanish chatter, warmth and the sound of the lapping sea…

This morning we ran along the promenade, and it was hard to imagine just a few days ago I had been wrapped up in a shawl feeling the cold, while a mountain  thunder storm danced, played and crashed around my rocky scenes with insistent and enthusiastic energy.

Once again, I stepped into the barefoot step and almost forgot my mountain retreat; my croaky voice a reminder, but the day here the only one… The time with Ange immediate and as if we only had a coffee together last week…

A few of my things are still in my little white house, and I am aware that my energy however is very slightly in two places. I  said to Ange that every so often I have a sense of ‘having forgotten something’… A slightly strange Alice in wonderland like dream state and a ‘mad’ feeling of  – ‘did I remember to organise for someone to feed the (non- existent!) cat…’

It demonstrates to me, how much the nomadic life works for me, to be walking barefoot on the planet and living exactly where I am; completely here and now. And how so often as human beings we are ‘two places at once’ without being aware of it… In fact probably many places!

It is the practise of being fully here that allows us to experience our human journey at a far more profound level… Because nothing else actually exists except the reflection of our energy, and if it isn’t in our reflection then it isn’t there… So the more we are present to where we are, the more we have the experience of connection and a deep relaxation, because the connection is to our deepest selves. Not our conscious illusionary self, but the eternal truth of who we are…

As we set off to run along the seafront today, I briefly wondered what my body would feel like with all the change of location, climate, altitude… But I felt so good. I felt light, my legs felt light… This has been my increasing experience since I have been barefoot. There is a lightness in my body, in my footfall and in my legs…

After breakfast Ange was reading from her Scaravelli yoga book, and she found this paragraph that summed up exactly for me the experience I am having as I tread the planet…

‘Locking our legs in positions disturbs the dynamic connections through the legs and feetWe can learn how to use our legs better from cultures where walking barefoot and sitting on the ground are a way of life.
With intelligent use of the body, the legs can rediscover their lightness.

Many of us may not have experienced this since we were infants…’

Feeling light in our bodies and in our legs is the natural state; being able to move with agility and ease, flexibility and the joyous delight of experiencing ourselves through our bodies…

Pain is the aberration; ease the natural state – but pain is also a communicator and if we follow its messages and resist not listening to it through with denial, because we become ‘used to it’ – or distraction with stories that this is ‘natural’ in the ageing process, or blocking it with pain killers… Then with time and patience we can explore a re discovery or discovery of a greater lightness within our body – as if it were for the first time because we may have forgotten the feeling…

The feeling of lightness in the legs, in all of the body and so enjoy a freer journey on planet earth; and even if the shifts are only fractional it is worth the process and practise…

Ange and I swam later and we enjoyed again the magical healing properties of the mediterranean sea… We sat chatting on the sand about the journey ahead that emerged from within me… To run barefoot right through the middle of Spain and about Ange’s pledge with her daughter Pru and Ruby to support the cause to raise money for FSH – Friends of Sussex Hospices – by doubling every penny that is raised… She spoke of how the hospices supported her family at the end of her father’s life 7 years ago –  and how she now wants to support me raising money for the cause.

And so it is… We all have our gifts emerging through our unique vibration, we are all completely different in our own energetic make up, and if we  trust in our own expression then the way is clear for us all to support and love one another as we adventure on this unknown life path….

Not a ripple on the surface…

I am sitting in a cafe surrounded by many Spaniards who have been doing a marathon mountain walk – much chat has been engaged in about me wearing no shoes…! My Spanish conversation may end up a tad limited I fear – I have become the master at explaining my love of being barefoot – and know all the vocabulary associated…

 I also fear that on day one of being alone in the mountains I am becoming a cartoon television addict… I enjoyed a very pleasant Saturday morning eating a chocolate biscuit in front of Pepper Pig in Español – I felt like I was about eight years old waiting for my parents to wake up!
Not that my childhood had morning TV, I’m from the era when the ‘test card’ was on the screen in the absence of any entertainment… But I have seen it in other families over the years…. And so it felt like I was living it out now myself, at fifty eight instead of eight…
I have also been listening to loads of Spanish interviews on YouTube, and have the radio on a canal de musica clasica in the car, because on other channels, I’ve discovered that the songs are mainly in Ingles which stops my flow…
The deeper my immersion goes, the more I see I have a very long road ahead… But I am enjoying this new uncharted road and I am happy for it to go on forever and ever….
It might need to!
 My only conversations today have been Spanish ones and both about my feet…
And one now to order coffee… Hardly a conversation.
Otherwise I am silent – I have once again dropped into another film set – another land where the plot is already in action, and I am appearing as an extra in the scenes.
It’s times like this with no reference point where we can explore the sense of nothing ness and a self without definition…
Time alone feels a valuable thing to experience as it is only by truly being able to be alone that we can be with others – truly be with them – present, whole – asking nothing, demanding nothing, expecting nothing – simply honouring the space between the connection and sharing ourselves…
True love is when we have no reaction ever that separates us from our fellow human beings… This doesn’t mean we don’t experience feelings, but we are aware they are ours and we don’t project them outwards.
This takes practise… To simply clear every reaction within us – every shred of anxiety anger fear irritation hurt even as it arises – until nothing arises anymore…
There is not a ripple on the surface of the lake…
And this could take lifetimes… Which is why like learning Spanish, it doesn’t matter if it goes on forever; what matters is that we keep going along the path…
Because while we are healing of course we get hurt and we hurt others … But it is ironically their pain we are touching when we hurt another – and our pain that is being touched, which precipitates a hurtful word or action…
Which is why inner silence and deep self love is our biggest responsibility – to heal our own wounds, clear the emotional baggage, so that we are not defensive or critical of another when we feel wronged or hurt – and end up re wounding them…
Simple in theory… But as complex as our deepest wound…
This morning I rose late… A room with wooden slats meant 10 hours in bed – bliss – a catch up after a week of less sleep and so after watching Pepper Pig I walked out one October morning into the mountains… The end of my recovery easy week of training…
I padded along the ouchie path in my new FYF paws – enjoying the still silent power and magnitude of my mountain home