Nowhere to go….

I am sitting on the roof top of our apartment, it’s a sunshiny blowy day, the blustery games of the wind make it feel cooler than it is…

Famara beach is just across the road from me and I can hear the music of the waves in a rhythm of still movement – the tide is high so I will wait until later to run, when the sand stretches for miles again….

Nick and I spent lots of time up here meditating, chanting and talking… Nick was over in Lanzarote for five days to work on the opening paragraph to a new chapter in his life… This white rooftop leant itself to creativity and clearing;
and this morning Anadi and I lay here naked in the sun.

It is rooftop full of the energy of healing, wholeness and joyous celebration… And right beside me there is a beach which lends itself to nudity, to freedom of expression, to transparency… A place where my body is loving running like the wind…

Running has always been a mirror for me to look into myself, and racing around in my bare feet even more so.
My feet are in charge.

Yesterday I ran on the smooth black asphalt near La Santa, the sunkissed surface felt joyous to my feet at first, but the tarmac was so hot, that after five miles my feet said “enough for now”.

I am aware of muscles elsewhere in my body needing to strengthen and ‘switch on’ that have seemed to lie dormant whilst I ran in shoes…
After running yesterday I felt like I had been in the gym… My tummy muscles and the tops of my thighs and hips, all felt as if I had been doing some serious kind of strength workout!

But now my body is feeling open and free, because this morning Liisah came to give me a massage. I loved it, the feeling of my body disappearing within the sheer physicality of clearing through massaging.

A delightful paradox.

I can feel my whole being already starting to live my new life, whatever that is to be…
A space where the path will reveal itself.

As always I know I love to run, and I am allowing the running step to take me where it will….

I like not having a goal at the moment… But I also see how important they have been for me in the past… Without them I wouldn’t have found out how attached I was to the outcome, or how much push there was in my energy field, or how much I was looking for some kind of immortality through the running results…
I also wouldn’t have discovered the magic that happens after miles and miles of running, how it is possible to experience a transcendence of the body and mind, how I became the running, how I learnt about Zen.
The feeling of being ‘In the zone’, where everything disappears except the moment, the step…

And for me, I experienced this when running as fast in a race or training session, where I was just on top of the pace, on top of the pain, riding the crest of a wave….

So now I find myself in a space between…

There may well be goals again… They have always been a barometer of how much I am attached to this life and all of its chimeras, the illusion, the samsara…

They can highlight for me any area where I still mind what happens…

My life’s work has been to find out how to fully commit to run towards a destination, with the full awareness of the zen koan that there is is no where to go….

 

Thank you Nick Miles for the photos of me running on Famara beach!