‘To start at the beginning…’

My writing desk on the balcony looks down on a little square by the sea in Almuñecar, it is more lively than when we were last here in February; colourful stalls starting to appear… Joyous, vibrant, strips of cloth, skirts, pantalones, a mass, a tumble of possibility.

I am happy at the moment to be shopping vicariously from where I sit…

Although my life lends itself to a constant changing wardrobe… ‘Cuanto?’ I asked yesterday… I was looking through a rail of ‘pantalones’… ‘Seis euros’, the stall holder replied; the pair I am wearing at the moment are from Famara beach and were a similar price…

The beach sox I wear as shoes – when I wear them, which isn’t often while abroad – are £2.50 a pair; my wardrobe tastes are in contradiction to the extravagant energy of constant culling, change, transforming, updating…

Existing in contradiction isn’t uncommon for us as human beings…

An inner part of me moves towards being a vegetarian, and yet my body appreciates fish and occasional meat… The day before yesterday we wandered over the road to order a simple salad lunch. The restauranteur spoke to us of the fresh fish, caught that night…

Anadi and I were persuaded and asked if we could share one pescado, with some salad… The waiter brought us the pre cooked fish to admire before it was prepared…

The fish was so very beautiful, shiny wet silver… We were both keenly aware that it had been swimming only the day before. ‘It’s important to be able to look it in the eye, isn’t it?’ I said to Anadi, he agreed…

If we are to live within a contradiction in any area of our life, then it is important to exist in that space fully, acknowledging honouring the opposite pull, the yin to the yang… By doing this we are able to connect more fully to the spirit within everything; plants and animals as well as humans…

All living things have spirits, even if it is the collective spirit, and therefore feelings too and so can feel pain. It is only in acknowledging how we are all united, by the ability to feel pain, that we can move beyond the duality of dark and light, yin and yang to know the place which is beyond the experience of existing in this universe of polarity. By being fully present in every moment to every thought and action, we can be in a position to really understand how transient this life on planet earth is and to really recognise that consciousness, truth, our spiritual energy is never ending.

In recognising this, we can understand more fully what love is.

Later…

I bought a new dress! For 5 euros 🙂 I enjoyed my shopping spree; the stall owner spoke only in Spanish to me at my request and I bought a new bolsa as well as a dress. As I was going he called me back to give me a present, a little bracelet and he told me I was guapa… Maybe he hopes the ‘big spender’ will return… 🙂

I am looking across at the sea I swum in this morning. It seems to be inviting me again… This morning I ran alone and went further along the coast, clambering over rocks to reach a beach beyond the one the road lead me too.

My barefoot journey is lending itself to a deeper meditation on the move than ever before; my feet feel now like two independent beings, whose need for exploration, adventure, movement, steps leading to other steps must be adhered to and obeyed and so I let them take me where they will; the ultimate zen… Following my feet better allows me to  become the running and today, as I stopped and looked out over the sun dawning on a Spanish morning, I was reminded of a quote from one of my favourite books which speaks exactly as I feel at this point in my life….

“I felt it was for this I had come: to wake at dawn on a hillside and look out on a world for which I had no words, to start at the beginning, speechless and without plan, in a place that still had no memories for me.”
Laurie Lee – ‘As I walked out one midsummer morning”

 

 

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