Free fall to freedom….

I love stretching on the beach… It has become a daily practise and my body is opening up again.

In fact the stretches that are deeper, or harder for me to do, are accessing something previously inaccessible inside… I can feel this space I am living in currently, without much interaction or conversation, is lending itself to letting go of deeper older stuck energies which I could unconsciously distract from in my previous daily life…

I didn’t know I was distracting of course… And this is the trap!

My natural orientation when I am with another, is to forget myself wholly on a level. I am aware in the moment of my body and staying present to what is occurring; but not absorbed with myself –  and while this isn’t necessarily a problem, in recent years, I have had less and less time alone..

So; now that I have more time just with myself, I can feel how the mind used this busier time as a distraction from truly going into the older energies that needed to clear away.

The mind, thinks it is who we are… So these ways of being that we think are us, are not necessarily so! And even when we realise this and engage in some sort of personal development or releasing work, we can still unknowingly hold on…

To that outdated stuff, that psychologically we understand and have ‘worked through’ in therapy, in self investigation, in the journey to see and understand our stories, our patterns..

But, there comes a time where knowing too much about our issues, can trap us too!

Another tie, another bind… Being aware without shifting the ‘stuff…’

We may know our areas of challenge, we may understand our reactivity, we may know our energies that limit and block us from freedom…

And so then there comes a time where ‘working on them’ or ‘thinking about these things’, becomes the very trap that keeps us in their grip…

There comes a time to simply let them all go.

Clear it all away, and time alone, time to simply be with ourselves can give us the space for the energies to reveal themselves… The probable lifetimes of living within a story, an energetic pattern, of whatever the trap might be becomes a habit, and limits us from feeling true freedom…

When we are truly free, we live in a place where there is no emotional charge to any of the stories of our life..

As I mentioned in a previous blog, we can get trapped within these stories and their energy ‘not good enough ‘could do better’ ‘wrong’ ‘not loveable’ ‘rejected’ or even seemingly good stories…  ‘always right’ ‘always wins’ ‘always succeeds’ or perhaps ‘the rebel’…

We all have ‘life stories’, but it is the energy that is ignited when we tell them, or invest in them that shows where we are held… No charge, no energy, just the story… and we are free as birds on the wing.

So, there comes a time when all the work is done, the mental understanding, the observations of how this has played out in our lives, the stories of what happened in our childhood, how we internalised these energies, how we held on the these energetic patterns and ways of being in the world…

And beyond this, there is the leap to the new, the leap to freedom; the leap into the unknown…

I can feel the gift this new phase of more solitude and quietness in my life is bringing… I am in free fall and there is no going back…. 🙂

This morning Anadi and I ran to the end of the long beach that starts just outside our ‘front door’ to do our stretch routine and for me to make a film about foot exercises!

I am a close friend of foot exercises… Over the years my feet have been troublesome beings… I have experienced lots of pains in them.

Getting shoes was always a trial, and especially as a long race approached it wasn’t uncommon to still be trying to work out what to wear very close to race day…

And then I would find ‘the perfect shoe’, only for it to go our of currency…

I remember buying eight pairs of the ‘Brooks something or other’ – the shoe I wore when I last ran under 3 hours for a marathon in 2004 – when Lawrence who owns the ‘Tri Store’ in Eastbourne, alerted me to the fact they were stopping that model…

But eight pairs of shoes eventually wear out, and so again I came to the end of my perfect shoe…

The pain of Morton’s neuroma, which I experienced often, is intense. My friends got used to me having to stop on runs to take my shoes off to wriggle my foot about to take the pain way…

So, I know many foot exercises, and this morning I shared a few on my vlog… And now I use them to set my feet freer and freer.

They love having no shoes to restrict them.

They are letting go. they too are in free fall… My feet and me 🙂