Silence… Life as a meditation

The 6.30 am alarm is still a bit of a challenge… I am guessing my body thinks its in England and that I have suddenly decided to leap up at 4.30am!

Although there wasn’t a lot of leaping going on 🙂

Anadi and I wandered out into a glorious fresh morning, before the heat of the day… It promised us that anything could happen.

We kept wandering along for awhile – I am not keen on running the moment I am out the door – I like to warm into it and let my body and feet tell me when they are ‘ready to run’…

So we walked  and wandered and talked about stillness and silence…

Anadi had decided to take a bath after we came in from dinner before bed – and he had been ages and ages…!

When he eventually appeared in our bedroom I said ‘I want to know your insights, what happened in the bath…?’

I said this, because  Anadi is a very meditative, still being, and if he is silent he is usually meditating, not thinking thoughts… And early in the mornings, in the space between sleeping and waking he often has deeper insights and so I was looking forward to what might emerge from his silent soak…

And that was what he said… ‘Silence… Nothing else, relaxation and silence’

I lay in his arms and said…’Yes, silence…’ And that is how we went to sleep.

We had been talking earlier in the day about how we recognise that within the nomadic risk we have taken – are still taking – by leaping into the unknown, that at a deeper almost imperceptible level we are still ‘holding on’ in a ‘human worry way’…

Where is our life going, with Anadi’s business still in it’s fledging stages, and who knows where my sabbatical is taking me…?

Human concerns on this human journey …

And yet all of us are spirit – albeit on a human journey – but when we remember this then we can trust at the deepest level.

Trust what emerges from the silence…

Over breakfast we had talked about how we recognise always, that it is about going deeply into any areas where we are holding, even if they are so deep within that we are not that conscious of them… As in essence Anadi and I are not ‘worriers’ by nature, so to find the fear we have to catch it so that it doesn’t ever take a hold.

Rest in silence let go, trusting the silence always remembering…

‘There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.’

And the love spoken of here, is the love found in silence, in truth, within us all, when we trust and make our lives a silent mediation on the move…

And so after half a mile of wandering our feet started to run…

And we found a perfect five mile loop all around the edge of the forest on smooth quiet roads, shaded by the trees … We ran to the sea at the end of the exact 5 mile loop, and ran the half a mile we’d walked  at the outset of our run… Down to the sea we ran and dived straight into the huge  turquoise blue swimming pool at the bottom of our road…!

And under the waves I said to the watery deep… ‘Show me my truth…’

 

Namaste… The spirit in me honours the spirit in you

I believe I have now just about mastered how to say ‘Thank you’ in Turkish, but it doesn’t really seem to matter anymore… We now have made new friends who know what I am trying to say and immediately say the Turkish equivalent of the ‘de nada’; ‘you’re welcome’ return without trying to correct me or help me in my Turkish pronunciation development anymore…!

I have discovered that Huseyin, my ‘mixed treatment massage therapist’ can also say ‘See you tomorrow…’ So we have a little addition to our conversation of ‘Hello’ and later on in our hour together… ‘Turn over…’

But being here, without much language reminds me again that communication and relationship is fundamentally about connecting and relating first from the heart and soul; language is then the opportunity to deepen and expand our relating together…

It can be so creative to use words, they can add so much to our connections, but they also hold the possibility to hurt and wound, a poisoned chalice when what is said isn’t the truth; or isn’t what a person is thinking, let alone what their heart wants to say.

And so not speaking and just being together; properly looking at one another, eye gazing, connecting, feeling, sensing, touching can close any divides that language might bring.

I feel very known by Huseyin as he works on my body each day, there is a familiarity – a relationship.

Adding words can of course open so much and serve to deepen connection… But it can also provide the wedges we put between us as we discover that we have different beliefs, the different values and ideas about life, and instead of opening to them and validating them we deem them odd, bad, wrong, ‘not like us’ – and so a gulf can appear.

But of course with conscious and intentional use of speaking and listening, then language can serve to open and expand our relating in magical ways… Whether that be through the written word, or through dialogue…

By committing to clearing every shard of ‘reactivity’ that arises in the face of the actions or words of another; we are in a position to speak from clarity and wisdom… This doesn’t mean condoning acts of cruelty, violence or wrong doing… But it does mean clearing from within us any energy of violence or cruelty which may arise in the face of witnessing these events…

And clearing anger hurt disappointment when there has been no wrong doing – but simply our own way of how we see a situation, or receiving the words or actions of another – which may have had no malice in them at all – which touched some unresolved memory or pain deep inside…

It is all to do with us…

All that is occurring around us is to do with us…

And so again, while I am here connecting to people more through the warmth of human connection than language, it allows me to see into the eyes and heart of others and know there is no separation…

I have a relationship with one young woman here, born of us being together when her mother was not happy about something… I was waiting to ask a question about the internet… Her mother moved in front of me and expressed in extremely angry words (which I didn’t understand) how unhappy she was, to the lady who was there to answer our queries.

I was waiting and watching the theatre of life unfolding, when her daughter (I’ve made up it was her daughter! The younger woman) who was trying to placate her, caught my eye and we smiled.

Since then we have seen one another a few times – and smiled, with a bond formed of our brief encounter…

And on Saturday Anadi and I will be gone; we touched down and felt the Turkish earth beneath our feet, we have a feeling for the people here, we have engaged to the level we can and enjoyed the camaraderie when buying Turkish Coffee or asking for directions on yet another ‘Julia and Anadi special not getting to where we were meant to sight seeing tour’!

And the biggest thing I notice still, wherever I travel is the similarities, rather than the differences – I enjoy the differences, celebrate in them – but at the essential core level of us all, I see the same spark… Human beings, being human; making their way through this maze called life.

Seeking to see the spirit of ourselves in the spirit of another – Namaste – is a way for us all to truly be together…

Turn up at the blank page…

I am loving writing my Soles Journey every day; I am loving the creative process… I have no idea what I am going to say until I turn up and find out…

I learnt at the very beginning of my life that creativity in any form is about turning up at the blank page, whether that be starting a new friendship or love affair… Or writing, painting, singing cooking, anything you could possibly imagine, practising yoga, any sport or activity… Swimming, kite surfing, martial arts…

Learning to run barefoot again…

The secret is to turn up at that blank page; clear away any presumptions of the way it must be or should be and let go of limiting self concepts; ‘I can’t…’ ‘I’m hopeless at new things…”I must get it right first time…’ ‘I/it mustn’t fail..’ ‘This/I must be perfect…’

Just turn up at that blank page and see what happens…

The structures around it, whether that be certain rules or ways of doing something… Skills to be learned, adaptions to be made, we discover as we go… And then it also becomes apparent the people, the support any guidance needed to ‘make the first brush stroke’, or ‘write the first word’.

And this is in any area of life…

If we want to be in a  committed love relationship, it is important to go ahead and have some relationships…. We can only find out how to relate by relating, and if difficulties arise in the relating, then this is the time to seek the guidance to unravel what is occurring that is stopping the creative flow…

If we want to write… Write… Once again, any challenges or stuck energy that appear can then be addressed… But without starting, without turning up at the blank page, the blocks, the ‘unresolved stuff’, the pain from the past have no arena to clear and cannot reveal themselves…

Or if like I did, you want to run barefoot…Then it is was important that I took my shoes off…!

That I discovered how to run again… That I turn up everyday at the barefoot running track…
Within a creative process there is always the Zen; the staying in the step, being fully in the here and now, so that in that moment, it is apparent what is needed…  When we appear, when we show up…

In my case, turning up to run barefoot, meant not going running on many days in the early stages. The barefoot running track was the gym… And turning up each day on my barefoot journey meant running in vivobarefoot shoes initially as part of  a transitionary process.

But now, having turned up every day since the middle of September, I rejoiced this morning how far my feet have taken me in the last nine months…

A re birth…  I am enjoying ongoing reduction of pain in my running at a structural level (not always on the soles of my feet!)….

And, today I ran around a forest with Anadi both of us bare foot in this sunny new land, that we are becoming a part of in each moment we tread feeling the earth beneath our feet…

I chose this area on a country so huge, you could Britain into it three times, because on the map and in the photos the beach is endless… It IS endless…

I had images of long runs on the sandy shore…

But, the beach slides steeply to the sea, and is a mixture of pebbles, and deep sand… Fabulous for paddling and swimming in the turquoise Turkish delight… But not so great for running 🙂 But as I said in my recent vlog, nomadic life has leant itself more than ever to ‘not minding’, to going with the flow and being with what is, rather than what was imagined…!

So this morning Anadi and I set off to run along the road early before the sun was hot or the road too busy… Within half a mile we spotted a track leading off the road, which beckoned to us to follow it… We answered its call and  discovered miles and miles of sandy tracks…

We covered 7 miles; but the land and its tracks seems limitless… More to be discovered and uncovered

And now I am off to turn up for day two of my overhaul with Huseysin, who knows nothing at all about me from the spoken word, not my age, my sporting or injury or health history… Nothing at all.. Except that I am called Julia…

The language has been intuitive as he works to release and open, to massage and pull and bend and stretch my body, listening to his hands.

I am his blank canvass… And the space and time I spend with him is mine to allow and open to whatever the experience brings…

Five more treatments and to have them everyday!

I am sitting with a turkish coffee in front of me; my writing inspiration… 🙂 

We have just come back from a day in the mountains… We drove about 45 miles, not really knowing where we were going. We had looked on the map and seen that there were various symbols for different places such as those of cultural or historical significance, national parks, or water falls…

We felt drawn to finding the waterfalls! And set off to what looked to us, like a place nearest to them… We never did find the waterfalls; our confident lady on google maps, kept instructing us to go right, left, up, left, right… Up and up we climbed…

‘This doesn’t feel drive able at all ‘ I said to Anadi as the car started to bounce rather too high over the rocks; I think we better stop and walk…

We clambered out into the blazing sun onto a high mountain path, full of rocks… It was now that the request that we wear shoes in a restaurant a couple of days ago – meaning that I made a swift purchase of a pair of flip flops – came into its own…!

However resilient my feet have become; there is a way to go for some sort of pace along a rocky path of this nature!
We climbed up and up the winding mountain path, being greeted at each bend with breath taking views… The path started to become less obvious and with the wisdom of hindsight, remembering our adventures from the past when we got lost in the Atlas mountains for 13 hours, we left little monuments of stones at points where they would help us re trace our steps…!

We eventually arrived at a clearing with no obvious path at all; alone we stood in the silence of the mountains and the whispering of fir trees all around…

‘Shall we chant’ I suggested; and so we sat on the rocks and sang the Gayatri mantra together, our voices echoing and becoming part of the sounds and silence  all around us…

We stayed where we were, in the sun, talking and enjoying our ‘outing’…  After awhile we moved to sit under the shade of a little tree and continued being together in this place where we had never been before… A place with no name; and no waterfalls!

‘I’m loving this’ I said… ‘Me too…’ Anadi replied… ‘It really is true that having a destination is really only important to help us ‘set off’ isn’t it…?’ I continued.

‘Yes’ Anadi responded… ‘Things are either going to happen or they aren’t…’

This doesn’t mean not ‘doing anything’, as humans our energy is that of continuous creativity and movement… But it is about being still within this movement, not being attached to an outcome; even if it is something we might have been working towards for ages and ages…

Things are either going to happen or they’re not. And engaging in each step of the journey is what is required; barefoot or otherwise…!

I am now off for a ‘treatment’… I had a Thai massage yesterday and my therapist Huseyin spoke no English other than to say ‘face down’ and ‘turn over’…

I had many Thai massages when visiting Thailand and enjoyed them very much, and yesterday’s treatment was as wonderful.

Huseyin left me with a blanket over me, when he had finished his work… After awhile I was wondering if I were to stay until someone came back, or to just get up and go, when he reappeared with a young Turkish woman who spoke a little more English than he… She said that Huseyin thought I needed five more treatments, and to have them every day… That the top of my back was tight and my right shoulder, which was affecting me right down to my wrist… He was right of course, and although my wrist is better and doesn’t hurt anymore, I have been aware that the ‘origin’ is in my shoulder…

My translator continued that Huseyin thought my whole body needed mixed treatment…!

I must say to you here, my valued reader, that I am ‘the marketing man’s dream’ when it comes to my health! I have swallowed all sorts of ‘healthy’ concoctions (that tasted very yuk!) and used special face creams… I’ve had all manner of treatments and experiences because I have been told, or read, they will be good for me…

So, true to form, I was easily persuaded… I have decided to ‘go for it’! 🙂

And I am very much looking forward to my ‘Overhaul’ with Huseyin…

Our vulnerability and our strength

I woke at 6am as planned and crept out to a fresh summer morning, soft brown green hills rising around me…

The sun was already warming the day, but with less intensity than later on; a few people were about – running, walking, sitting on the grass….

I had a seen a lake last night, as Anadi and I wandered back from the sea, cool balmy, that we felt we could swim and swim in forever and not get cold…

I reached the lake and for a while, running around the edge of it was easy for my bare feet…. I reached the end and the path became sandy and a bit rocky; I crossed a bridge and started to run down the other side; but the ground became ‘ouchie’ and although it was fine to walk along; I have not yet mastered running on the very ‘ouchie’!

And so I walked along, alone, in a new land; a new path unfolding…

Each day holds the opportunity to take whatever path we desire; whatever path we want… There is infinite choice and it is only our conditioning and habitual energetic response to what we know, that keeps us on the same track… This track we travel along in life may well be the very one that is going to open up vistas of understanding, opportunity, possibility for us… But it may also be the one that leads us round and round in the same circle, sometimes without us even realising it.

Because the track we go along always reveals itself as we travel within… And so whatever path we tread today, if we reflect on how we chose it; then we will gain more insight into which way our steps are taking us…

Because the paradox of this life is that we can do the same thing and keep evolving, opening, blossoming as we go, and therefore changing, transforming, growing into our highest self…

Or we can keep changing our outer circumstances but repeat the patterns, go round in the same circle, with different people, in a different location, doing different things even, but without stopping in our journeying, reflecting, and seeing where our steps have been taking us… And the same stuck patterns can keep us locked in a prison.

With reflection, our path will reveal itself with its limitlessness, infinite possibilities and the more we trust ourselves, we will find it invites us on a never ending journey to freedom…

I rounded a corner and a man was there on the side of the path, taking a photo… I said good morning and walked past; but he immediately fell into step with me. We did not share a language and so after establishing that I was English and he was Turkish we walked along in silence.

I would have liked to run; but the ground felt too challenging and so we kept walking together… He then indicated he would like to take a photo of me… Having made reference to my bare feet, I thought he may be wanting to take a picture of my  barefootedness… He took the photo and then said ‘sexi’… I realised maybe it wasn’t just my feet! Especially when he patted my bum…

I wanted to get away, but couldn’t run… It was an interesting experience, to feel my vulnerability; to feel an urgency to get away, alone on a rocky path in my bare feet with a Turkish man…  I cleared the tension and relaxed… The path opened up and became smoother…  ‘I’m going to run now…’ and I was gone…

I ran to the beach and then all along the shoreline pebbly sandy, sometimes deeper, wet, sometimes I ran in the sea… I discovered sandy paths that lead from the beach and ran through the trees, and back to the beach…

I forgot all about my Turkish man… I ran, I walked, I paddled and two hours later returned to the beach where Anadi had been sitting in the sun, waiting for me for a morning swim…

I told him the story of my run, and when I shared the experience of the Turkish man, I shed a few tears that I hadn’t known were there… ‘I’m only crying because I’m telling you’ I said ‘I’m not upset and I wasn’t upset at the time…’

‘But I understand’ Anadi said…

Being in touch with our vulnerability can allow us to be truly strong; as we are living a human life, the strength comes through softness, not through aggression and tension…  In yoga, it is known that softness and flexibility need to be balanced with strength, because strength without softness is aggression; and softness without strength is weakness…

So the practice of yoga mirrors the practise of life, of us being in touch with our vulnerability and our strength; working to balance, balance, balance the ‘spirit level’ of the two and so experience absolute clarity.

 

 

 

Being who we are…

I have just checked out on the map exactly where I am!

Maricarmen asked me this question today in my Spanish lesson… ‘I’m not totally sure..’ I replied laughing… ‘In Turkey, Manavgat; beside a really long beach…’

I have now found out that we are on the South Coast and the beach goes on and on and on, it looks for 7 miles, but it seems to never end and could possibly continue for 70…

It is a long beach.

I chose this location for the possibility of miles and miles running barefoot along the shoreline…

I plan to rise early tomorrow before the heat and people arrive. Sunrise is at 5.35am. so I will let you know… 🙂

Today has unfolded with a breakfast of tomatoes, onions and feta cheese, my Spanish lesson, and as yet no running… I am surrounded by tall trees and bright flowers and the sea beyond the grass… When I have finished writing to you swimming is happening, and then stretching…

Today is a swimming and stretching day…

We were to bed later last night than we had expected…

But as Anadi said ‘This is all part of the adventure of our life…’ For expectation can limit our enjoyment of life, it can prevent us fully being with what is unfolding in front of us… This is true of plans and planning and also in relationships… We can miss the joy of a different fork in the road; in the same we we can miss the truth of a person through projecting an expectation of our own ideas of what ‘we expect’ of them…

We landed at 10pm so I had booked a car to bring us to our new home… I’d received an Email which stated the car would be at Terminal 1, but we landed at terminal 2…

We looked around hopefully for quite awhile before deciding that we had better go to terminal 1 – which turned out to be 3k from terminal 2 – A young Turkish boy saw that we were standing alone…  He had a friend who would take us to terminal 2 for 5 dollars 🙂 we didn’t have dollars on us… He then suggested Euros… I only had 2 euros of change but I did have some Turkish lira… The deal was struck for 10 lira and 2 euros…

But still there was no one there to pick us up at terminal 2…

The puzzle of course eventually did unravel and resolve, as puzzles do, with some patience… Travel over the years has taught me to be very relaxed when standing in a foreign land with no idea where I am, or how to get to where I would like to go…

In every situation we live out, we have the opportunity to see it reflected at the deeper soul level… We are all standing on a foreign land and none of us truly know where we are going; if we listen to our heart it will tell us where we would like to go, and then relaxation and trust and patience will allow the path the reveal itself…

Even if it is not quite as we expected…

So we arrived in our new home by the sea well after midnight; to find that Anadi was not expected; only me!

By 2am all was settled… We were offered some tomatoes, cucumber and feta cheese which we received hungrily and with delight…
I have then proceeded to eat almost the same thing for breakfast and lunch… The tomatoes, so sweet and juicy; nurtured and grown by the mediterranean sun; the cucumber crispy green bright light taste and the salty feta cheese; I have added onions – red and white – to my meals today… And drunk Turkish coffee and Ayran, the delightful Turkish drink of Yoghurt water and salt…I love it.

And I love being here in this sunny land with an energy of its own. All the time I move around something clears to a deeper level, particularly when there is no language, hardly any English spoken and no other British people… Already in less than 24 hours here, I can feel this experience lending itself to something else leaving; any holding on to anything..

‘I have let everything go’ I said to Anadi today ‘My work, my running, as I knew it and my home…’Yes’ he said ‘it’s why we’ve done this, so that we let it all go now, so that we can live without attachment to anything… Because when we die we have to let it all go…’

And letting go of everything allows us to see what flourishes… It could be anything! Work, running and home can all appear again out of letting go… Letting go isn’t not having, doing, being… It’s having things, and doing things that have emerged from within where our inner voice has lead us… And being who we are…

‘And my shoes…’ I added, laughing…

 

Once we stand naked together…

Gatwick airport is our home for the morning… We came here early and I have four hours in one of my favourite venues… An airport!

I have always loved this inbetween world that I experience here and on a plane… As I journey onwards and inwards, I recognise that this reflects for me finding the fulcrum in the yin and the yang in this layer of human life that we think of as us, as real

Throughout my life, whenever I have seen and experienced the space between yin and yang, the place… ‘Before, behind, between, above, below…’ Then I have been better able to recognise the experience of life for what it is; a place for us to experience ourselves in a body through the wonder and horror of life on planet earth.

Increasingly I experience living in this space within myself.

It can be very easy to forget that this life is not ‘who we are’… That life here in this universe, is us experiencing ourselves – which is very different to the our life being who we are.

The words I quoted above are from John Donne’s poem, ‘To his mistress going to bed..’ As the title suggests, the poem requests she be naked with him… ‘Full nakedness! All joys are due to thee,  As souls unbodied, bodies uncloth’d must be…’

I loved reading Donne’s poetry as a teenager, and I still do… He speaks to me in his own explorations, of transparency, nakedness, freedom and an awareness at the soul level that our bodies are not us, in the same way that we are not our clothes…

Clothes and shoes or not shoes can be a wonderful way of experiencing different facets of ourselves, displaying our unique energies, colours, vibrations…

But underneath our clothes and adornments, we are all naked….

And once we stand naked together, we can start to experience that there is a space of complete stillness at a deeper level inside us, where we remember that we are all one.

We are all born of love in its truest form – consciousness… The experience in a body is to be wondered at and embraced as we experience ourselves; but it can be made even richer if we remember from whence we came.

Remember our unclothed, unbodied state…

As babies we likely do remember, the eyes of a newborn, a young toddler, with their unwavering gaze show a closer connection to spirit; but the experience here can quickly take a child away from this knowing, this memory.

And as life unfolds in all its multifaceted joyous light and utter devastating horror, it is not surprising that we would forget and become consumed by the tragedy or attached to the joy.

This experience can be so terribly sad and devastating and so sweet with delight that why wouldn’t we believe it to be real.

But our spirits know that we are eternal, our spirits know that beyond this human journey is freedom, truth and love… Which we can then experience here, whilst still in the body – the still point beyond the duality.

But we do forget…

And so we can live out a whole life by default, adhering to a script or structure imposed from the projections of others who have also forgotten…

I was thinking these thoughts as I walked on the springy soft grass in the park. My legs and feet were aching in the night from their adventure on the forest yesterday… And so today I walked to the park and stretched on the grass.

My legs and feet said… ‘Thank you Thank you…’

As I walked on the lovely turf, I reflected that my feet are another way for me to be experiencing yin and yang, the soft springy grass, bliss! Or stony rocky path, ouchie! Without becoming attached in any way to either…

But to relax within it all, to allow the unfolding from within, through my barefoot journey.

Yesterday I listened to the interview with Denny of DizRunsradio and I heard myself say that I am a runner first… But it doesn’t ring true anymore… Since that interview something has changed.

I wrote yesterday that I felt another layer of ‘letting go’ when I was running over the sandy, grassy trails and hills of Sussex beauty and I don’t feel that way today…

This journey seems to well and truly mean I have ‘let go’ of ‘being a runner’ at a very core level…

My feet are leading me on a new path and I have no idea where it is heading…!

 

 

 

Our whole life ahead to perfect our art…

Today I thought I would be in Norfolk, but instead I am in Sussex.

I have just run on the Ashdown Forest with Pooh, Piglet, Owl and Roo; they were the ones who were free for a run come fly today, the appearance of Owl rather surprised me as I didn’t expect to see him in the daylight… But when I said that Pooh rightly said… ‘Well we didn’t expect to see you today either…’

Anadi and I were meant to be in Norfolk celebrating his Mum’s birthday with her; but her back was so sore and she called to tell us she wasn’t up for a celebration today… So we have moved it to when we are next in the UK…

‘We’ve still got your celebration to look forward to…’ I said to Kay, his Mum, after we had sung to her…

So my day changed it’s direction… Where to go? Immediately ‘my’ Ashdown Forest called me… I dropped Anadi at ‘the office’ in Gatwick and made my way there…

As I drove through the lanes from Forest Row, I was trying to find ‘Kidd’s Hill’…It was a hill I knew very well… I ran up it quite regularly in the past – cycled up it once – and apart from knowing it was a way to the forest, it would also be a trip down or rather up memory Lane…

Needless to say, I couldn’t find it and made my way a slightly long and roundabout route to Gill’s Lap. I parked and stepped out onto the grassy dusty stony land and my feet were like two little puppies, eager to explore…

They are stronger and stronger, and as I ran today another deeper level of ‘let go’ occurred. They are getting tougher on the under soles and stronger in their structure, so I was able to relax more and jump and leap and run, and walk when really ouchie bits appeared for two hours…

This morning I had watched a video of a 91 year old woman who was doing a gymnastic routine, she was strong and agile and had fab legs!

‘I’ve got my whole life ahead of me’ I thought as I watched her perform her art, ‘to perfect my art of running…’

As I ran today any vestige of rush within me let go… I could feel it and I remembered when I had some Alexander technique lessons with ‘The Art of Running’ expert Malcolm Balk, and how he reminded me to connect to the energy from the base of the spine that flows right up through the top of the head, and then to simply concentrate on the footfall and the legs would follow…

And they do…

At one point I was at a fork in the road and ‘I’ wanted to go to the left, but my feet were pulling me to the right!

I nearly went left!!! 🙂

But I then remembered that my feet know best and that I am to follow their lead, their pace, honour their wisdom and the messages they get from their connection to the earth’s energy…

So I ran down the path to the right, which came to a stream, and the other side of the stream, I saw a road and a sign… ‘Kidds Hill’!

I ran up Kidd’s Hill again… The mile long, windy steep hill, but not as steep as I remembered…

At the end of two hours, I was very happy tired. I find that running in my bare feet is on one level more energising and connecting than any running I have ever done… And on the other, it asks more of me at a very core level.

Pooh, Piglet Roo and Owl  know the forest well, but the main thing I noticed on our ‘fly run’ today is how they all flow with their own rhythm, and that of the forest too… They go at the pace of the land and their own energy and they all look after each other, and they waited for me too when I was treading over the ouchie bits… They were patient with me as I return more wholly to something I have always known…

How to connect truly to the moment, the land, the sun, those around us, to the now…

After I had run, I drove back to Forest Row and dropped into InGear Bike shop…

Pete the owner and I used to talk a lot when we both lived in the same town, I would drop into his bike shop then, and we would talk training, racing, eating, competition…I even went out with his cycling group a few times…

I had seen his new shop here in forest Row, and recently we connected on instagram… And so today it was in real life… Fifteen years from when we last had a chat, we picked up as if I had dropped in last week…

If we trust our connection with ourself and with the silence within, we start to see that we are all in an ongoing conversation that never ends….

And here is my conversation ‘on the run‘ with Denny while he was in Florida and I was in Spain…

Being ourselves….

Today I collected my little blue shoes from our address at Gatwick where we get things sent, and we hire office space if we need… My ‘shoes’ are my turquoise barefoot jewels. I love them… My perfect colour.

I was once told that the colour and expression of the healing energy that comes out of me is turquoise… ‘You have turquoise gills’ the lady who ‘saw’ said…

I popped into the loo whilst we were at the Gatwick office, and as I was washing my hands another lady appeared and started to wash her hands too…

‘Shoe shine…’ she laughed, ‘this is a truly amazing bathroom, it has everything…’

And sure enough near to the hairspray and tampons was a pot of ‘shoe shine’ – she walked out and I smiled at this particular scene in the play called ‘life’ unfolding…

Shoe shine and me have never really gone together… My Dad was very keen on shiny shoes. We had a ‘shoe cleaning kit’ under the sink in the kitchen which I would reluctantly get out on a Sunday evening, to make my school shoes shine to the required level!

No shoe shine needed now 🙂

I then made my way across the airport, making my way to meet my friend Wends at Covent Garden.

My feet did feel more exposed than usual… No –  that isn’t accurate; my feet were as happy as anything.

They are the boss now… It was me that needed to stretch out of the slight  discomfort I felt… I knew it was important that I did clear any feelings of ‘shyness’ that I would be ‘looked at’…

Because there is a deep knowing in me that my feet know the way better than I do right now and that I must keep following them up along road, wherever it might be leading…

As I approached Gatwick station, a young woman came towards me, on the front of her T shirt in big letters was written…

“Do what you love…’

The discomfort cleared away… I ran down the steps and leapt aboard the train to London town.

I then proceeded to do a lot of running around in the underground, up and down escalators… There was a problem with the Victoria line, so I needed to find my way to Covent Garden via a longer route…

I arrived at my destination, took the 193 steps up, rather than the lift as the crowds meant it looked the swifter way… Listening as I climbed to the announcement counselling us that these steps must only be taken if fit enough, as they are equivalent to 15 storeys… I emerged to mingle with the crowds again,  ran past the street performers and human statues, and into the halls of Covent Garden, down the steps past the street musicians, in the Crusting pipe and there was Wends waiting for me…

As I had been making my way to her, I had an insight into me…

‘Wends I have had an insight…’ I announced after we had greeted one another with a ‘hello hug’… ‘I realise that wandering around in my bare feet is a bit different to the norm… But I am not doing it to be different. I am honouring fully who I am, and allowing myself to be me… And if that is different, I am prepared to be more visible in who I am than ever before…’

‘It’s always been you Ju…’ Wends replied. ‘Being yourself is all that you must be…’

 

Then we went out into the streets and made a vlog together! 🙂

 

I am here…

I am sitting in a Costa Coffee shop in a small town near the airport… I have just experienced more grassy joy for my feet and now ‘cafe con leche’ has been seamlessly exchanged for ‘flat white’…

The sun shines, without so much intensity as a few days ago, but it shines brightly, dappling on the leaves of the enthusiastically dancing trees…

Another windy day of summer Sunday activities…

The grassy park we found had a family practising golf, tennis, bowls, young people sitting about on the ground, talking, smoking, laughing, watching the rest of us go by.

Anadi and I lapped and looped around and by everyone, passing through… A metaphor for how we live our lives…

We are all passing through, from birth to death… The fire of this life is ignited within us and then off we go…

The one certain thing about life on planet earth, is that it ends; we know not when…  The more we live, fully embracing this, accepting the uncertainty of this experience here, the more we can live each moment fully. The yin to the yang, the sadness and the joy. Fully here, now, present to the truth of who we are.

The wisdom of knowing that everything changes can allow us to see how trying to keep things safe is a chimera. Safety is an inner state and this will be reflected in our outer experience…

This doesn’t mean everyone must shed their possessions to know this! That was my natural step and all of us have different preferences and natural ways to go…

As I ran today, I saw how we choose to live in precarious ways anyway!
There were a group of young people on the scooter/bike park steep ramps… I’m not sure what it is called..! But watching their skill, their focus, there endless practise and the danger that they put themselves in, again reflected for me the uncertainty in any moment…

And for us… There were many bees on the ground nestling into the little white flowers dotted all over the field…We wove our way through them, and at one point I trod on a very ‘ouchie’ prickle, which for a moment I thought was a bee..!

What a beautiful sunny Sunday afternoon in England… At the end of our run, we sat stretching on the grass… Oh the joy of the smell of fresh summer grass

Spain on a Sunday is a delight too, it is very much a fun sun day; families and friends sit for hours and hours over lunch. The tradition solid and respected. Last Sunday we were there, passing through, a week later we are here…

Today is the day we were meant to land in the UK for a couple of days; but we are here already…

One of the things I notice about our nomadic existence, the constant movement of my lifestyle, is that as well as  a feeling of passing through, the paradox is that it has leant itself to me being more ‘here’ wherever I am than ever before…

This morning I was absorbed in my audio Spanish lesson and glanced up at one point… Across the room at another table I saw Anadi working on his computer…

I looked out of the window and there was Gatwick short term parking multi story building… Cars circling, the day summery and blue, scudding clouds in the sky.

‘Oh I am here…’ I thought momentarily…