In the silence everything is clear…

The sun is shiny golden bright today, gusty windy cloud scudding bright… We are in Lyme Regis and I have just enjoyed a very blowy walk along the seafront to the end of the Cobb… I stood on the end which was characteristically windy… And looked over to golden cap where as little girls Rosy and I walked with our parents and our golden labrador. We loved coming here for our holidays..

I was also remembering when the French Lieutenant’s woman was filmed here; it was 1981 and my father had just moved to live in Lyme… All the houses were painted ‘dirty’ to resemble the 1850’s era of the film…

Rosy lives here now and today she and I went for lunch in the ‘Alexandria Hotel’ which we have been visiting for many years; many lunches with our Dad – he always gathered us prompt at 12.30 – and Rosy had her wedding reception here too,  30 years ago…

As we sat in the garden, I was telling her about my vlog with Wendy in the rain, and about her creations of fabulous barefoot sandals… Rosy and I recalled many years ago, when Wendy  and her husband Tony visited here with their little girl Ellie, she was their only one then, three more were yet to arrive ..

I can remember it so vividly, sparkly clear little baby Ellie on the grass in the sun…

Ellie is now a sparkly beautiful twenty two year old young woman who I have had the delight to know all of her life. She is a very lovely spirit and over the years as I have seen her blossom into herself,  I also saw reflected in her something that reminded me of me… Seeing  Ellie and knowing Ellie helped see and love myself more… In seeing aspects of myself reflected in Ellie, I loved myself more deeply as I so loved what I saw in Ellie… I don’t think she knows this, she will now 🙂

Of course when we see things in others, the things that we admire and anything that we don’t like, this is ALL to do with us… Remembering this can change our lives completely, as instead of projecting that a person is like this or that, instead we first reflect on us…

It is only as we clear away our projections that instead of the world being a projection of us, we start to see with more clarity…

This is the joy of this journey, that we see ourselves reflected back in the mirror of our relationships, and whether that is something that challenges us or we love –  all aspects are for our growth and for us to reclaim and ultimately love and integrate within us.

I can also remember when Ellie was about six years old, she had two beautiful little sisters now too… It was a sunny summer day again, Wends and I and the three little girls were sitting and lying about on the grass at Petworth Park, having a picnic in the sun… Suddenly Ellie looked straight at me, right into my eyes, and said… ‘You are like a little girl still…’ Wends and I looked at one another and then back at Ellie, who continued… ‘Because of your face…’

I recognised then that Ellie saw people, right into them, into their energy – something more than others might see, or that they might be revealing and with the clarity of a child, she spoke what she saw; and it resonated with me… The child energy has always stayed with me… It is within us all, but it can get crushed.

Healing our inner child brings us back to that clarity and truth of who we are and can allow an opening of our heart to its true expression…

Yesterday Ellie sent me a photo of her and Wends in the beautiful foot sandals that Wends had made… They were exploring Regent’s park together, which is Ellie’s new ‘back garden’, having just moved near there…. My friend who I have known since I was four years old, and her beautiful daughter wandering around barefoot in the park!

And so all these years on, Rosy and I were lunching in the same place… The grass green, the beautiful scenes the same… But so much changed; beautiful babies are now young women and men…

Last night we had had supper with Rosy and her family, Jess my niece is now a tall beautiful seventeen year old young woman, a fabulous netball player and today Rosy was inspiring me with stories of Jess’s  ‘step training’, on steep flights of steps here in Lyme… Jamie, my nephew is in France learning french, and it seems but a flash since they too were little ones on this very same lawn…

The earth always spinning, as we journey round and round the sun… The illusion of time passing as we watch the years go by, the people transform and grow… The never ending cycle of birth, death and re birth… We remember those who were here who aren’t any more, while we now appreciate and enjoy spending time with those who are here now, who weren’t…

We cannot make meaning to it; if we try too hard we get stuck in ‘meaning’ and ‘making sense’ of a dream, that is always slipping through our hands like sand… The secret is to live it, wonder at the mystery, be in it, the joy the sadness, the birth, the death, the light and the dark, until in the silence everything is clear and still and we discover how to really live… How to embrace the dance, the illusion…