A healthy self concept; love and acceptance….

The view from my window changes almost daily at the moment… From a seascape in Dorset, to the fields of Provence – to a Sunday run on the South downs as if I had never left – and now I am looking out over the north terminal at Gatwick airport…

Changing vistas, blue skies to grey; sun to rain, green grass to concrete buildings, cars, trains and planes…

The complexity and variety of life on this planet, flashing around me as I journey within; deeper and deeper to a place where I now find that as I bounce around the planet I need no adjustment.

In the beginning, I could feel wrenched away from a place and needed time to get used to the new… Now I find I hit the ground – both literally and metaphorically – running, and the only thing that is really noticeable is the stretchy feeling of time…

A week ago Anadi and I were in Provence… It could be 6 months ago – But by the same token when I meet up with an old friend after a few months, it feels like we had a coffee together only last week….

I love the nomadic life, the planet my home… My belongings on my back and off I go. Anadi is on a techy software course in Cheltenham, so for a few nights we are a two home family!

I woke up in my new home today… Yesterday I stepped out onto Eastbourne seafront to run ten miles on the glorious south downs, today I made my way through the Hilton Hotel at Gatwick to the gym there, available 24 hours…

And this is where I notice my energy has changed significantly… Because nowadays, I always feel good running… This has changed as I have changed. Feeling leaden when running was a normal occurrence, in the past… Something to be endured until I felt light again… I would particularly notice this feeling when travelling or when training after lost sleep – or a change in weather or environment… But now I always feel fluid and fluent.

I ran 10k today on the treadmill…  I warmed up for a mile, ran a mile faster, ran 1/2 a mile at 10 minute pace and repeated 3 times and then cooled down… It was fun, easy and flowing. As I ran I recognised that the part within me that used to try to do more than I could has left… It simply doesn’t exist anymore.

Before I started to run barefoot, I had had a knowing deep down that I needed to start my running all over again… Go back to basics and start at the very beginning; but a thread hung on to what I knew and to the out dated patterns – and I didn’t do it… Until I shed my shoes…

And so the session was comfortable because I didn’t try to run at 7 min miles; I ran where I can feel my natural pace is at the moment…

Of course running this way brings a feeling of possibility, joy and expansion… It felt easy, so I feel I can do more… I am hungry to train again… I feel good about the experience… Win win…

When the over push dynamic is still alive, then the part that is used to struggling, and making things hard, is often trying to be somewhere its not ready to be yet… This attitude means that the whole experience can have a lower vibration energy, too hard, at our limit, can’t do any more, a feeling of dread at doing it again…

Feeling bad about the experience – lose lose …

The key is to have a healthy self concept now; one that is not dependent on our performance in any arena. This way we can stay in the moment, witnessing ourselves clearly without an inflated or negative self concept; but simply one of awareness and self knowledge…  From this place we are open to guidance support because we do not receive it from a place of ‘not good enough’, but from a position of  ‘I wonder what I can do?’

Thinking that anything outside us can make us feel good about ourselves is a chimera… Accepting ourselves and doing things from this place of self love makes for happiness and health and ongoing full involvement in our lives.

Happiness is always to be found inside us, it is an fruitless and endless search if we persist in looking outside, and this orientation can trap us in a feeling of urgency and desperation as we keep seeking…

When all the time we need only look within….

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *