Birthday fun….

Anadi and I clambered across the watery rocky shore line, ankle deep in warm salt water, feeling the seaweed and sand beneath our feet… A birthday run; Anadi well enough to come out to play again…

We had a plan for a birthday skinny dip at the end of the beach, but today it seemed a popular destination for many clothed walkers – and the sea felt a little wild – the waves glorious to behold, but a little over zealous to dive through….

And so the birthday ritual was abandoned and instead we ran towards the coffee and tostado birthday breakfast…

I always remember my friend Andrew who loves to surf quoting a piece of surfing wisdom to me, which honours not only the power of the sea, but accesses our inner wisdom too…

He said that if a wave is too big, then paddle back to the shore… There will always be other waves…

The more we are committed to clearing tension, and anxiety and fear – the more we can be truly in touch with our inner wisdom and know the difference between a wave that really is too big and will threaten to annihilate us – and our inner wobble, our fear needing to be felt and stretched out of…

This is a minute by minute process… of learning to listen deeply within, so that we can tell the difference.

It is a fine line, because the paradox is that in not listening we can miss our truth both ways…

Either by going for something we really can’t and shouldn’t do, and so setting ourselves up for failure and disappointment –  or not going for something we could and can and for our growth should do, even if it stretches us…

Both are opposite sides of the same ‘coin of distraction’, away from following our inner voice…

To deepen the puzzle even further… Our inner voice may lead us to something that we don’t succeed at – but energetically we needed to find out, or attempt a few times to uncover and discover the hidden treasure within the journey…

So have I confused you entirely… ? ?

Because we feel and experience everything through being in the body, it is only through staying fully in each step that we can start to know the difference between the two… The tension and fear that needs clearing, the gung ho – ‘I’ll show you’; and the path of the heart which needs following…

We sat together in the sun enjoying the best ever tostados and cafe con leche, birthday bliss…

Later…

I have just had one of those conundrums in real time…

I had entered the club La santa 5k earlier in the week – and sitting in the sun enjoying a Spanish Birthday Saturday, I was feeling that I didn’t really want to race 5k, I didn’t feel like putting myself on the line… There  is a red ‘cancel’ line on the app and all it would have taken was for me to press that button and my day to be free of any pesky 5k races in the sun in my socks…?

I had already decided I would put my socks on as the road was burny hot and there was lots of uneven pavement and road to navigate…

Anyway, I knew that the slight turning away was for clearing – and that turning up was what my inner voice bid!

At 4.30pm, I wandered over to the stadium with Anadi, and by now was looking forward to the event – all traces of resistance gone – I felt no nerves and was interested to step into the unknown….

The race felt so good…!

I felt flowing and strong and I am so much more comfortable in feet without shoes… It is a very rare thing that I exceed expectations in running; but I did.

I ran 21.52 with relative ease…

My inner voice knew the way….

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