The lone long distance runner…

I love this planet that we inhabit, that is now like a huge town, where news spreads fast from one end to the other… In my part of this town today, it has been a sunny bright shining October day – glistening and sparkling and still; clear blue skies and silence and quiet – and a pace that is tranquil…

Today is fruit and veg day… The van pulls up, similar to the way I remember as a child, laden with fresh produce. The arrival is announced by a long blast on the horn, breaking joyfully into the sunny late afternoon peace – folk respond to the sound, come out of their homes and shop by the side of the road…

Otherwise apart from the occasional zoom of a car the essence here is bright light blue still air…

But just across this ‘planet town’ we all inhabit, I have heard reports of ‘star wars eerie skies’ and high winds and all sorts of unexpected unexplained happenings… Darkening skies in the afternoon and funny smells and the power of a wind that is unstoppable…

I love that we are connected and that we can chat about ‘the weather’ as if we were on a street corner…

I do feel a little like I am on a space ship myself though, in that this rarified dry air always affects me quite significantly… I was talking today with Maricarmen and telling her how every time I stay here, it feels like I experience some sort of ‘Limpiar’… Cleanse.

The experience in my body strips me bare, especially as I am having a kind of retreat in my little mountain home, especially as poor internet in South Africa has made it impossible for Anadi and I to talk…

As I jogged up the mountain this morning I felt very much like a wild animal… I had left at 7.30am in the dark (it doesn’t get light til 8am) and run towards the dawning day, which appears always in glorious warm glowing beauty… There feels to be something about a lot of continuously running uphill, combined with the feeling of power and magnificence in the mountains that accesses my complete vulnerability, especially with the allergy thing y going on in my body…

It seems to create a deeper surrender within me to the pace of this land… No pushing, just jogging slowly up the mountain as the days dawns…  The lone long distance runner…

But not lonely; embraced by the land and connected to everyone else in this huge global town….

Being alone is a state… We can be alone, as I am in this little white home. But being alone can be a wonderful thing; to hear silence, to not speak, to simply be… Here, now in my little white house…

Feeling lonely is a completely different thing , it is emotional distress to a situation and it can occur with or without the presence of people. it is possible to ‘feel’ lonely when in a big group, or in a marriage.

In many ways we should have a completely different word to describe the two states, as they do not compare…

However if we are able to be alone, then we are likely to never be lonely as the positive state of aloneness lends itself to a wholeness within, no void to try and fill with something that can never fill it…

Nothing can fill a hole within us…

It is only us who can seek within to where we are empty and love ourselves back to wholeness.

But of course as always life exists in a paradox, because seeing the reflection of where we are empty and need to be whole, can be seen and discovered within our relationships and our relating…