The Uncertainty principle

Anadi hasn’t really slept for about thirty six hours, but he is looking very good on it… He does, he says, feel a bit spaced out, and is therefore saving having any alcohol until it doesn’t matter if he falls down…!

The circle was completed at about 9am this morning… We had said goodbye to one another 3 weeks and 2 days ago on almost exactly the same spot that we were re united… It was as if we had never been apart.

We both agreed that we were totally delighted to be together, how very much we had been looking forward to seeing one another; but that we hadn’t missed one another.

I like not being missed, and I like not missing… I feel free to live my own life fully…

Being missed, like being worried about can be a big burden… And similarly the other way round, missing someone or worrying about them, is wasted energy which goes into a black hole and limits us living fully and being present to each moment.

Having empathy or understanding, appreciating, loving one another and maintaining connection – planning to see each other is very different. Honouring and keeping the space safe, trusting the orbits of our physical connection, is very different to projecting our own needs or expectations onto another… ‘Wanting’ them to be with us to fill a gap within us, or worrying about them without examining what this might be to do with us, can limit the possibility in the relating… Whereas recognising that the other is free opens us up to the limitless qualities of true love…

The paradox is that truly being there for someone can be about simply letting them go… So that they might live the thing out that ‘worries us’, or that they might go away and be free to discover their own life, without any burden of being ‘pulled back’ or missed…

Of course like all things human, this can be a very long process, to fully be able to connect with ourselves in a way that we are so full up, that we can truly let others go… But it is worth exploring, playing with the energy of trusting that we are never separate anyway, not truly – because we are all one.

We live this life in the illusion of being apart, because this is the human experience… But then so too is the experience of being delighted to be in their presence again…

I always dreamed of the freedom I experience in my relationship with Anadi… I am living my dream.

My time in the mountains was very important to me, and I could not have had the experience I had – and the inner shifts – if I had not been alone. It was like my soul knew this and it was already written… And Anadi loved his time away. He loved the buzz of the meetings, the progress with his company, the twice daily presentations to the top sports clubs and private schools in South Africa – the travel, the social time with Dwight, his colleague… The whole experience – which he foresees repeating all over the world…

And today we went to brunch at Bronte restaurant… It was such a delight. Being in Anadi’s company again was wonderful, the food was delicious and our waiter Miguel was Spanish!

We then went to the theatre to see ‘Heisenberg: The uncertainty principle’…

Heisenberg and his uncertainty principle said that if you precisely measure the position of something, then you cannot precisely measure its movement… This idea serves as a metaphor for the uncertainty and unpredictability of human behaviour; and the play followed an unlikely, but fascinating dialogue and growing relationship between the two who were on stage for the entire show…

A fabulous day, and the play distilled for me the importance of simply being present… Because even if we watch something closely and ‘know exactly where it is’ this doesn’t mean we know where it is going…

How much more relaxing to simply be in the here and now, and accept whatever happens next….